


Your happy end starts with the first step

by Acaranna



Series: not an easy happy end [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic, Gun Violence, M/M, Major Character Injury, Near Death, Non-cyborg!Genji, Panic Attack, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, knitting as a way of coping, mentioned animal death, mentions of throwing up, no overwatch organisation, not too explicit ptsd, the dog doesn't die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 13:26:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 32,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14106384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acaranna/pseuds/Acaranna
Summary: Jesse McCree lives a quiet life on his family’s old ranch in the middle of nowhere after having been honorably discharged. He rebuilds it by hand to have a roof over his head and to get used to his prosthetic. He's happy enough with that life and his dog, Betsy.One misdirected e-mail later his quiet life gets interrupted by Genji's older brother, Hanzo. He never expected his offer, to harbour the heir of one of the biggest Yakuza clans, would be taken seriously.Hanzo is not quite how he imagined him to be.





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> This is my entry to the McHanzo Big Bang 2017/18. I got paired with the lovely [dewdlepies](http://dewdlepies.tumblr.com/)! It was a lot of fun to create this story and to see the art it inspired. I'll be linking it in the notes after the story so please stop by and take a look! I love the artwork!
> 
> Additional thanks go to my dear [emotionalmorphine](http://emotionalmorphine.tumblr.com/) who ironed out the worst of my mistakes. 
> 
> Now then! Sit down, have a drink and enjoy!

The village was eerily empty and quiet. Nothing moved except the wind and the lone tumbleweed it chased across the dirty road. Doors and shutters hung lopsidedly on their hinges; at least where they hadn’t been blown off completely. A small, wooden cart had been turned on its side. Someone must have tried to take cover behind it. The large, dark stain on its other side betrayed the futility of that act. Bloody footsteps led away from the cart and towards one of the half-destroyed buildings.

Keeping to the shadows of the other buildings Jesse followed the steps closer to the ruin. The only noise echoing between the walls were his quiet footsteps. Where was everyone? He peeked through one of the shattered windows into the building next to him. The room looked like a bomb had gone off inside. Furniture was overturned and partially burned. Small craters littered the floor and blood was everywhere.

But no bodies.

Jesse didn't know if he should be happy or if it should worry him even more. Everything he had found so far pointed towards a massacre and yet the only thing he had found were empty houses. Who knew, maybe the blood hadn't been from humans but from animals? It was possible, yet the bullet holes, the blasted doors and shutters told an entirely different story. And Reyes himself had told him that they were hunting a group of rogue soldiers who found killing innocents rather amusing.

“Don't know why it's our job to find that out.” He groaned quietly and rubbed a hand across his eyes. His head hurt something fierce but he couldn't remember why. Did he get hit by something? The pain wasn't localized so maybe it was something else.

Whatever it was, Jesse couldn't afford to let it distract him. He had a job to do and could check in with their medic once he was back on base. So he only squeezed the bridge of his nose once before returning his attention to the village. Maybe whoever had caused this mayhem had taken the bodies somewhere.

“ _ McCree, where the hell are you?” _ Reyes voice sounded tinny through the earpiece. Jesse jerked to the side, surprised by the sudden noise. He had forgotten about his communicator – again. Thankfully, this time there wasn't anyone around to see him jump. Genji still teased him about the situation in Siberia.

“Loud and clear,” he replied, pressed close to the wall. “You got something?” Jesse really hoped that he had because this was getting a little too eerie for his taste. Where were the bodies?

“I don't know but there is something happening in one of the houses at the market. Genji's checking it out but I want you to head over as back-up.” Reyes' voice didn't betray any emotion. It was cool, collected and professional. Sometimes Jesse envied him.

“Got it, I'll be there,” he said and turned around to make his way back to the marketplace. He hadn't taken more than two steps when his left arm exploded into red-hot pain.

* * *

 

Jesse woke to the sound of an explosion in his ears and a scream on his lips. His eyes shot open but he couldn’t see anything around himself. He was  _ still _ in that small, empty village. The stench of blood clogged up his nose and his left arm felt like it was burning from the inside. His stomach leapt into his throat. He barely managed to throw himself to the side before his dinner ended up on the floor.

“Fuck.” Jesse groaned once he stopped heaving. His whole body trembled from the wave of nausea rolling through him when he tried to sit up. Cold sweat covered his skin leaving him sticky and even more uncomfortable. Thankfully it also brought him partially back to himself even if the process was just as painful as the nightmare itself.

“Fuck.” Jesse huffed, finally able to roll onto his back. His right hand crept over his body to wrap around the remains of his left arm. The movement left him even more exhausted but at least now his brain fully remembered where he was. He wasn’t in a no-name village in Egypt. He wasn’t in the hospital. Hell, he wasn’t even on the base, anymore.

No, he was on the old ranch his family had owned for centuries. The room he was in had once been his parents’ bedroom. A storm was raging outside. There had been a warning on the news, too.

Jesse turned his head slightly trying to catch a glimpse of the glowing numbers on his alarm. 2:24am. Four hours of sleep. He grinned mirthlessly through the dull ache in his head, throat and arm. Four hours were three more than he had in the last three nights. Still, he felt worse, if only because of the nausea rolling through his stomach.

“Guess we’ll start early today.” Jesse sat up, waited until his stomach stopped trying to climb up through his throat and slowly swung his legs over the edge of the bed. Even through the haze and dizziness left by the nightmare he was careful  _ not _ to step in the mess beside his bed. He had to clean that up before it left a stain on the carpet.

Or before old Betsy decided to roll in it. It had been a welcome distraction, even if she carried the stench through the whole house and got herself banned from the bedroom.

As if on cue a pitiful whine echoed through the closed door and Betsy clawed at the door.

“‘m fine, girl, go back to bed.” Jesse massaged the area around the connection points for his prosthetic. He still had a hard time getting used to the piece of metal, even though it resembled a hand. He had full control of it and the fingertips were custom made with finely tuned receptors that allowed him to  _ feel. _

‘Almost like a real hand,’ the doctor had said and Jesse had nodded. But that was it - it wasn’t a real hand, just  _ almost _ . He could have had it cosmetically enhanced. Slimmed down, covered in a couple of layers of medical varnish to match his skin tone, but Jesse refused to have that done.

It served as a reminder, of sorts, that they weren’t invincible. That their bodies were made of flesh and blood and that it was all too easy to lose a part of themselves. He got lucky only losing his hand and not himself.

Betsy howled again.

Jesse closed his eyes, ignored the hot prickle behind his lids and took a deep breath. Slowly, painfully, he pulled his thoughts away from the past and back into the present. Another glance at the clock revealed that he had sat there for almost half an hour. Outside the storm still raged on, thunder boomed over him and lightning illuminated his room every couple of minutes.

He turned his bedside lamp on. The softer, warmer light danced along the polished surface of his metal hand. Jesse stared at it for another minute and then picked it up and snapped it into place. The nerves in his stump sprang to life with a tingle that travelled down his spine and made him shiver.

“Still not used to it.” Jesse shook his head. “Wonder if I’ll ever get there.” This time he didn’t dwell on it. Instead he heaved his body off the bed and marched towards the bathroom. The cold tiles under his feet served as another reminder that he wasn’t in Egypt anymore.

Jesse hit the light switch, winced when the sharp light blinded him, and rubbed the dancing colours away with a yawn. He ambled over to the sink and contemplated what he should do this early in the morning. Aimlessly zapping through the TV channels lost its questionable appeal after the first two nights and the book he started on afterwards couldn’t hold his attention for very long. Two pages, sometimes even three, and then his mind wandered back to things he wanted to forget.

Betsy decided it for him with a particularly unhappy howl. Whatever else he would do that day, his little old lady came first.

Jesse grabbed the bucket beneath the sink and filled it with hot water and an unscented cleaning agent. He had started out with lemon scented stuff but he needed it too many times to stand the smell for long. On his way out of the bathroom he snagged an old, holey shirt from his hamper; it would do as a rag. Jesse couldn’t remember why he had kept it in the first place but at least this way it had one last use.

Once the mess was dealt with and his carpet saved for another couple of days, Jesse rinsed the bucket and placed it back beneath the sink. His back and knees ached a little but it was nothing a hot shower couldn’t fix.

But first he had to let Betsy into the room. If he didn’t she would probably scratch her way through the door. His girl was as stubborn as he could be. She was also just as protective.

“’m coming, Betsy.” Jesse huffed with a small smile. His memory-fuelled nightmare still lingered in the back of his head but at least now he had something small to focus on. It wasn’t quite a routine yet, though, and if Jesse was honest with himself he didn’t want it to become a routine. Because that would mean that his nightmares would never stop.

“Slow and steady. It won’t happen overnight. Recovery takes time.” That was what his psychiatrist said after he vented for about half an hour. She hadn’t interrupted him once, not even when he had gotten loud enough to be heard outside of the room. Instead she had let him run out of steam and then helped him work through some of the issues. He hadn’t had the energy to work through all of it at once.

Betsy yipped happily when Jesse opened the door for her. Her tail wagged hard enough that her whole behind wriggled across the floor. Jesse crouched down and promptly landed on his butt when Betsy decided that she needed to give him a very wet kiss on the cheek.

“Alright, alright, little lady.” He scratched behind her ears and laughed when her tongue lolled out even further. “You're mighty chipper this early in the mornin’. Then again, you're always chipper.” 

She yipped once as if to answer him, before she wriggled her way out of his grasp and into the room. Even without looking Jesse knew that her nose guided her towards the still damp spot next to his bed.

“Sorry, Bets, no mess for you to roll in.” Jesse heaved himself back onto his feet and winced when his back popped loudly. “Alright, you goin’ to be a good girl while I take a shower. No funny business on my bed, you hear?”

Jesse shook his head when the only response he got was a quiet snuffle. He had no idea what was so exceptionally interesting inside his room but as long as she was happy it was fine. But he had to be careful otherwise he would have to change the carpet sooner than he wanted.

Picking out a change of clothes Jesse made a mental note that he needed to do his laundry soon. First he needed a shower, though.

*~*~*

The coffee machine fought valiantly to be heard over the still roaring storm outside. Jesse stared at the black liquid dripping into the pot beneath and thought about what kind of repairs he would have to do once the storm was over. He hoped it wouldn’t be too bad since he had only managed to repair the barn a couple of weeks ago.

Betsy whined and leaned against his legs. Jesse yawned loudly and reached down to scratch her softly.

“Can’t go outside just yet, Bets.” He took the mug he had used the evening before and dumped a spoonful of sugar into it. “We’ll have to wait until it has stopped thunderin’ at least. I don’t fancy being struck by lightning.” Coffee followed the sugar.

Jesse took his coffee to the table and fell into the chair. Even though he had slept longer than the nights before, he was exhausted. His head and throat still ached slightly but thankfully his stomach had stopped roiling. He glanced at the clock above the kitchen door. It was still way too early to be awake, at least for him, but it was late enough that breakfast deserved some consideration.

“What do you say, Bets, bacon and scrambled eggs for breakfast? ‘cause that’s the only thing I have left. Laundry and groceries are on today’s list, it seems.” Jesse pulled the eggs and bacon from his fridge, purposefully ignoring Betsy’s excited yips and panting. There was a reason why people talked about ‘puppy eyes’ and he knew that he was not immune to them.

Preparing breakfast, or any meal in general, was one of the exercises he had been told to keep doing regularly in order to get used to his prosthetic. It helped that the pressure and sensory plates in his fingertips were calibrated to the point of perfection, yet whenever Jesse absentmindedly reached for something with his left hand he tended to break or at least dent it.

Jesse reached for his datapad while the sizzling bacon filled his kitchen with its delicious scent. His stomach rumbled in response. At his feet Betsy whined plaintively and stood up on her hind legs with her paws against Jesse’s thighs when he refused to react.

“Oh no, lil’ lady, not gonna start with that.” Jesse gently pushed her back down onto the floor. “You’re going to get your food when everything’s done. Be a lil’ more patient.”

Betsy huffed but stayed on the ground. She knew better than that, though that didn’t stop her from trying her luck every once in a while. Jesse shook his head with a small smile playing on his lips while he checked the bacon. Once he was sure that it would only need a couple more minutes to be done he poured the seasoned eggs into the second pan.

Outside the rain continued to paint small rivers on his windows but the storm in itself had died down to a distant rumble. Jesse knew from experience that the rain would likely last for another hour or two. Then he had to head outside and take stock of all the repairs he would have to make. He could only hope that the barn hadn’t taken too much damage.

With breakfast done and the pans soaking in the sink Jesse sat down to eat and check his email. He hoped that Genji and Sombra found a moment to shoot him a message. He was curious where they were in their trip around the world and what kind of mischief they had gotten into. The last he time he heard from them they had visited the Amazonian national forest. 

But the only messages in his inbox were junkmail and a reminder for his next appointment.

“Right, let’s give them a lil’ poke, shall we, Bets? Maybe they just had so much fun that they forgot lil’ ol’ me.” Jesse grinned and opened a new mail. His fingers hovered over the keys while he stared at the blinking cursor. What was he supposed to write? His life had taken a turn towards the calmer after his honourable discharge. Gone were the days of pub crawls and training way too early in the morning when he was still hungover from the night before. 

Genji and Sombra, who had become more family than comrades, left at the same time as he had. Instead of pursuing a quieter lifestyle, they had taken to wandering the world. Jesse’s fridge was covered in photos and postcards from the different locations they had visited. Every once in a while they would send him little knick knacks that reminded them of him. Or so they claimed. His favourite was a little snow globe that contained three little figures that looked suspiciously like them. One of them even wore a tiny cowboy hat. He still wondered where they managed to get that.

Jesse closed his eyes, took a few deep breaths and ran through the days that had passed since he received the last message. He came up with nothing he thought would be worth telling. His life was by no means boring but it was  _ so _ different these days. Then again, Genji always seemed to be interested in the progress of the farm and its repairs. Maybe he could include the finished barn and his hopes of it still standing once the rain finally stopped.

His fingers moved over the keys even before Jesse opened his eyes again. He knew Genji’s address by heart and just started writing. The words flowed out of his fingers and onto the white background.

 

_ From: deadeyedcowboy@watchers.com _

_ To: h.shimada@hikono.jpn _

_ Attachment: photo01.jpg, photo02.jpg, photo03.jpg _

_ Subject: Hey _

_ Hey Genji, hey Sombra, _

_ I hope you guys are alright, wherever you may be. Is it morning? Or is it evening already? _

_ Over here I can’t really tell whether it’s morning or if the world finally decided to drown itself. On the off-chance that I will see the sun sometime today I’ll have to take a look at the barn and coop. More the barn since I just managed to finish the roof yesterday. I attached some photos, too. I’m mighty happy with how it turned out. The coop will be a lost cause, though. I’d be surprised if it remained standing during the storm. Good thing that I wanted to rebuild it from scratch anyway. Maybe make it a little bigger than before. No idea whether or not I’ll ever get something to hold inside it but who knows. I can always turn it into a shed or something like that. _

_ On another note, I managed to not destroy my latest set of pans as well as the plates you guys brought with you on your last visit. I’m slowly getting the hang of this hand, it seems. You were right. I shouldn’t have fought the prosthetic as hard as I did. I can handle delicate things like eggs if I keep them in my vision and focus. Satya and Torbjörn are quite happy with my progress so far. At least when it comes to the prosthetic. _

_ I still find myself back at that village when I go to bed, though. I can hear the explosions, see the bodies. I have the scent of blood in my nose for hours after waking. It’s getting better, slowly. Tonight, for example, I managed four hours of sleep. That’s more than the last few days. I still feel like I’ve been run over by a truck. _

_ Anyway, it seems like the rain’s letting up a bit. I’m gonna take old Betsy for a walk while I inspect the damage to the barn paddock. _

_ I’m looking forward to hearing from you two! _

\-        _ Jesse _

 

Jesse hit ‘send’ and turned off the screen on the datapad. Next to him Betsy got up and placed her head on his thigh. She huffed quietly as if she had sensed his mood and wanted to make sure that he was okay. 

“I’m alright, Bets.” Jesse took a deep breath. He tilted his head back and blinked against the prickle in his eyes. A shiver went through his body when his mind flitted through the nightmare once again. “I’ll never forget the lives we lost. But as Satya said - I can’t honour them by remembering if I forget I’ve got live my life as well.”

Betsy whined when his hand came down but didn’t scratch behind her ears. It wasn’t particular loud but it was enough to pull him back from the brink.

“Alright, alright, thanks, lil’ lady.” Jesse swallowed against the lump in his throat. He needed something to distract himself before his mind got another chance to bring up the past. It was too easy to give in to the terrors. But neither the TV nor his book could hold his attention for long enough to lose himself. They might even trigger another flashback. Going outside and checking on his farm was out of the question as well. The rain had let up a little but not enough to stay reasonably dry.

“You know what? Why don’t we give those needles a go?” Jesse looked down into Betsy’s big brown eyes. “Those long, long knitting needles Ms Ana gave to me when I got lost in town during our first week here?”

Betsy huffed gently and jumped in place a couple of times. Her nails clicked on the ground.

“Alright, let’s learn how to knit. What’s the harm in that?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, stop by on [dewdlepies](http://dewdlepies.tumblr.com/) tumblr and let them know how lovely they are! They created [this](http://dewdlepies.tumblr.com/post/172281579667/my-contribution-to-mcbigbang-for-the-mchanzo-big) gorgeous piece of artwork for my story and I am so happy that I can share it with you people!


	2. Part Two

“Have you decided what you want to do with these buildings? Will you follow in your family’s footsteps and rebuild the farm? It would certainly be a good way to honour your roots.”

Jesse looked up from where he drove nails into the wooden boards when a body blocked out the light. The storm hadn’t damaged the barn too badly but the small chicken coop, or what had been left of it, didn’t survive. The only thing left behind had been a pile of splintered boards and a bit of hay. It looked like a mess but at least it would be easily cleaned.

“Nah, not really. Might get a couple of chickens yes, but probably no cattle.” He pushed his hat back and grinned tiredly at the giant of a man in front of him. Reinhardt Wilhelm looked like he could crush his head with one hand but he was, in fact, one of the gentlest people Jesse had ever met.

“What about horses? Ana told me that they are very good for the soul.” His mustache twitched and Jesse knew that he was trying to hide a grin. “Doesn’t a cowboy need a horse? How are you supposed to ride off into the sunset without one? That would be like a knight without a shield!”

For a second they stared at each other; Betsy’s barking was the only distant noise. Then Jesse pulled his hat down into his face to hide his laughter while Reinhardt’s voice echoed out across the area. It made Betsy come running over to check the situation. Her paws left muddy prints on Jesse’s jeans when she jumped up to get his attention.

“Should have known that you would make that joke.” Jesse leaned down to scratch behind her ears.

“To be honest, my friend, you set yourself up for it with the way you dress and behave.” Reinhardt bent down to give Betsy a couple scratches. “The hat alone would not be so bad but the boots and spurs, not to speak of your passion for those old movies! You know, Ana says -”

“Enough already!” Jesse chuckled and flicked his hat back onto his head. “You really don’t have room to laugh about my choice in movies when your choice in music is even more questionable!”

“I’ll have you known that they are all considered classics!” Reinhardt stopped laughing and stood up straight. His face lost all form of amusement and turned serious. In that moment he didn’t look like the friendly giant who played Santa Claus for Torbjörn’s family. In front of him stood a man who would have fit right into one of the ancient romance books Ana enjoyed so much and thought nobody knew about. If Jesse hadn’t known the man as well as he did he would have been shaking in his boots. As it was he just grinned widely and tipped his hat.

“So are my movies and as for my clothes - they complete my aesthetic! You could say they make _me_ a classic, too.” Jesse gave a big wink before he wiped the grin off his face as well. Moments passed and neither of them moved. Betsy ambled from one man to the other, yipping in confusion. She didn’t like the tension.

Reinhardt cracked frist. His beard twitched for a few seconds before he threw his head back and laughed, arms wrapped around his stomach. The sound echoed across the land like a cannonball. Jesse followed suit albeit much quieter. He still felt a little strange to be laughing in a place that he hadn’t seen since he had turned 18. Yet he couldn’t deny that it felt freeing in a way. Just like it had been the first time he returned.

“Ana would like to see you again,” Reinhardt said, once they could breathe properly again. “Preferably for dinner. She also said that she won’t take ‘no’ for an answer and you know how she is. Fareeha will also be there.”

His expression turned from childlike amusement to something soft and warm. Jesse felt his stomach flip. He hadn’t talked to Fareeha in months, much less seen her. When he came back to the States, after everything, she had just flown out to another base.

“Did she give you a date for said dinner as well?” Jesse took his hat off and ran a hand through his hair. He couldn’t deny that he missed Fareeha. She had been and still was his best friend.

Reinhardt took a step closer to the beam on his right and leaned against it. He looked intimidating with his broad shoulders even if he was more of a giant teddy bear. Jesse wondered briefly how Genji and Sombra would react to him. It was a little surprising that he hadn’t gotten around to introducing the two parts of his family to each other yet. Maybe on their next visit he would remember to do that.

“No, she hasn’t set a date yet, but Fareeha will only be here until next week. She couldn’t extend her leave as they need her back.” He didn’t have to say it out loud. Jesse understood what he wanted to say - the world was never at peace.

He ran his flesh hand across his face and took a deep breath. He knew that he couldn’t escape the tales of the war forever but he hadn’t expected them to come so soon. But maybe they wouldn’t talk about it. Fareeha could be a little thoughtless with her words. Then again, so could he.

“Help me finish this while I think about it?” He couldn’t say yes just yet. Something held him back. Reinhardt nodded with a smile that reminded Jesse a little too much of his father and a photo of his grandfather. He had never gotten to meet the man but his mother always told Jesse stories about him. Maybe that had been the start of his fascination with cowboys and the wild west in general.

“It is okay if you do not wish to join us, Jesse.” Reinhardt held the beam in place while Jesse connected it to the others. They needed to be stable enough to survive at least two or three storms. “Ana and Fareeha will understand, you know that.”

Of course Jesse knew that. Ana, Reinhardt, Fareeha, and a few more people from the small town had a history with military service. Even his psychiatrist worked on a military base before. At least that’s what Jesse gathered from the photos on her desk and walls. Her mannerisms only encouraged the idea.

“Could you hold that a lil’ higher? Thanks.” Jesse hammered the last nails into the wood. “I know it’s alright, Rein. Both you and Ana made that quite clear the last time I came for a visit. I’ll think about it and give you a call. I’m waitin’ for Genji to get back to me. He an’ Sombra were wantin’ to visit me sometime as well.”

He stopped, swallowed, and shook his head. Reinhardt just looked at him, waiting patiently. On some days that patience drove him up the wall but most of the time he was thankful for it.

“No, that’s an excuse.” Jesse sighed only to fall silent again for a few long moments. “I’m comin’ over tomorrow evenin’ if that’s alright. I can’t hide here forever, after all.”

“I will let Ana know, then.” And that was that. Reinhardt didn’t try to make him talk about his reasons. For as long as Jesse had known him he never had and neither had Ana. They both knew that he would talk in his own time.

“Right, let’s get back to work then.”

*~*~*

Jesse groaned quietly. His back ached something fierce, as did his shoulders, but they finished the coop before the sun set. Reinhardt had wanted to help him clean away the tools and leftover planks but Jesse shooed him off. He could do that just as well another day. As it was, he doubted that he would be lifting anything anytime soon.

“What a year without regular training can do, huh, Bets? Maybe I should start workin’ out again.” Betsy lifted her head, looked at him and lay back down when it was clear that she wouldn’t get a treat from him.

“Looks like I spoiled you too much, old girl.” Jesse grinned and shook his head. “Ah well, don’t we all deserve a lil’ spoiling? For me that’s gonna be a hot shower an’ a good whiskey after dinner. And maybe there’s something worth watchin’ tonight.” He didn’t hold out much hope for that, though. He hadn’t had a lot of time to watch anything during his downtime between missions and fights. On the days he did get to watch TV he usually fell asleep minutes into whatever was running.

Jesse dumped his boots at the bottom of the stairs, making a metal note to put them away before he stumbled over them and broke his neck. Then he paused and contemplated using the downstairs bathroom which held a tub and shower combination. Eventually, he made his way up towards the master bathroom. While a hot bath sounded lovely, Jesse knew that he wouldn’t be able to get out of the tub. Maybe tomorrow he could indulge himself a little.

His phone chimed indicating an incoming email when Jesse busied himself with picking out some clothes to sleep in. He threw them onto the bed and pulled his phone from his back pocket.

“Now, Genji, where did you write me from this time?” Jesse grinned while the mail loaded. The grin quickly turned into a frown, though, because the mail didn’t come from his friend. Instead he looked at the email address and cursed.

 

_From: h.shimada@hikono.jpn_

_To: deadeyedcowboy@watchers.com_

_Subject: RE: Hey_

_Dear Jesse,_

_I normally do not do such things but I felt the need to inform you that your message has not reached the person you intended it for. You should resend it with the proper address._

_The barn looks like it was a lot of work but it seems to have been worth it. You should feel proud of accomplishing your goal._

_I am happy to hear that you are finding living with your prosthetic easier now, too. It will only get better in the future._

_I cannot say that for your nightmare, unfortunately. Those do torture us for the rest of our lives._

_-_

 

He must have hit the wrong key when sending the message. There was no name signed beneath the body of the text but Jesse knew that the name had to start with ‘H’. He also had the uncanny feeling that he knew who had answered his email. Genji had never talked much about his older brother but Jesse knew that his name was Hanzo. Could he have accidentally sent _him_ the mail? It would make sense. G and H were settled right beside each other on the keyboard and maybe the two of them made these email addresses when they were kids.

Jesse closed the email program and pulled up the contacts on his phone. He wasn’t sure whether or not Genji had reception but he wanted to at least try to get a hold of him.

 

_To: Genji_

_Hey buddy, weird question (or not, really) - your brother’s name was Hanzo, wasn’t it?_

 

He waited until his phone declared the message sent before heading into the bathroom. The light flickered a couple of times before illuminating the room. Jesse winced when the brightness blinded him momentarily. He really should add some muted colours to the room to break up the whiteness of it. On some nights he couldn’t even step into the bathroom after a nightmare because it reminded him of his time in the hospital.

“Alright, time to get cleaned up for the night.” Jesse put his phone on the counter beside the sink. His hat joined it a moment later, as did his belt along with a couple of other knick knacks that had accumulated in his pockets.

Jesse turned the shower on before he started to get undressed. While the water pressure was amazing it always took quite a while before the water reached his favourite temperature. Maybe he should look into a new heating system the next time he was in town. If he couldn’t find anything there he could always ask Torbjörn to whip something up for him.

At first Jesse dropped his clothes on the floor but then he reconsidered his decision and placed them into the hamper right away. Some things were ingrained deeply enough that even a year away from a military base couldn’t make him forget. He could practically hear his commander demand ten push-ups for every piece of clothing that ended up on his floor. And he hated push-ups.

There was one moment that Jesse loved the most about showering. That first moment when he stepped beneath the hot spray of water, when he could lock out the world behind a thin door of frosted glass. Sounds were muffled until they blended into the background and slowly fell away. Back on base his time in the shower had been limited to fifteen minutes due to more than one person needing to get cleaned up. So of course the first thing Jesse had done in his new, old home, was take a shower long enough to use up all the hot water.

Nothing had changed all that much over time. The first ten to fifteen minutes of every shower were spent simply enjoying the way the water cascaded over his body. It relaxed his muscles and flushed away the hardships of the day or the last tendrils of a nightmare. It was one of the few things that truly helped him.

Jesse groaned softly when the muscles in his back slowly unlocked themselves. He hadn’t even noticed how tense he had been.

“Wonder why that is.” He grinned mirthlessly. His mind wandered while he took care of his body and hair. It started out with Reinhardt’s invitation to dinner. Well, Ana’s demand wrapped in Reinhardt’s invitation. She would back off if he asked her to, Jesse knew that, too.

He wanted to see Fareeha again, though. She was his best friend, even though they were five years apart in age. He was the first name on her speed dial and she was first on his. They shared almost everything with each other. There were almost no secrets between them. He had even been the first to know that she had decided to join the military - just like he had.

He missed her. But he was also wary because there would be stories. There always were and he couldn’t tell what would make him remember. He didn’t want to remember. Not yet.

“Runnin’ around in circles.” Jesse yanked his hands through his hair as if he could help sort his thoughts that way. It didn’t work, unfortunately. “Can’t hide from it forever, I suppose. Better to get over with it an’ who knows, maybe it won’t be that bad.”

_Yeeehaw! Saddle up Cowboy! We’re ridin’ outta town!_

Jesse turned the shower off and pushed the cubicle door open fast enough to make the hinges protest. In his haste to get to his phone he almost stumbled over the small ledge of the shower. Neither truly registered in his mind.

_Yeeehaw! Saddle up Cowboy! We’re ridin’ outta town!_

The phone almost slipped from his fingers but Jesse managed to grab it at the last second. That would have just been his luck. Genji’s name flashed over the screen but the ringtone was all Sombra. She loved messing with his phone even when she wasn’t there to get her hands on it. On the other hand, nobody else had ever been able to hack his phone once she took over their security.

“Hey, buddy.” Jesse leaned against the counter, not caring one bit that he was stark naked. Who was going to see him? A ghost?

“Hello, Jesse.” Hearing Genji’s voice soothed something in Jesse that he didn’t even know had been agitated. It felt like a rope around his chest finally loosened and he could breathe easier again. Maybe he had been worried on a subconscious level.

“How are you doin’? How’s Sombra?” Jesse swallowed against the roughness in his voice though he couldn’t fight the smile when a cheerful voice called him _pendejo_ from somewhere in the background. He didn’t know that he could miss being called stupid.

“We are well,” Genji replied and this time Jesse could hear him smile. “But how are you, my friend? How is the quiet life treating you?” Pleasantries before the hard stuff. He could work with that even if he didn’t like small talk all that much.

“I’m doin’ well, myself.” Jesse chuckled. “Been working on restoring the rest of the farm. Main house is looking good now. I even got the barn and coop finished up, too. Lucky for me, the storm took care of demolishing the rest of it. I just needed to do the clean-up before setting up the new building.”

“That is a lucky coincidence then,” Genji agreed. Somewhere behind him Sombra groaned and grumbled something about him being _boring._ Her tone was fond, though.  

“Yeah, I told you that in my email.” Jesse bit his bottom lip. “The one that didn’ reach you, it seems. I also talked about how I managed not to destroy my kitchenware.” Silence answered him. Even Sombra remained quiet. She must have seen Genji’s expression and decided that talking was a bad idea.

“Is that the reason for your text message? Are you worried that you have accidentally sent the message to my brother instead of me?” There was no inflection to his tone. Jesse had a hard time figuring out what mood Genji was in on a normal day. Over the phone it was nigh impossible to say. He had to trust his gut that this had been a good idea. At least he answered the question - his brother’s name was Hanzo.

“Yeah,” Jesse finally admitted after the silence between them dragged on for minutes. “I wouldn’t even have noticed it until your next visit if they hadn’t answered.” There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line.

“He answered?” Genji asked, voice sharp enough to make Jesse wince.

“They answered. Can’t be sure whether it’s your brother or not. But yeah, that’s why I thought I’d ask about his name. They didn’t sign the mail but I looked at the email address and it said _h.shimada_ instead of _g.shimada._ That’s a indicator, isn’t it? No idea how many Shimadas exist in Japan. Might have gotten a totally different guy.”

“It might or might not be him,” Genji admitted. “I cannot say for sure. We created personal email addresses when we were much younger, before everything started to come apart. Not that we ever had much use for them when we were children. Still, we kept them a secret from the elders. It was something that belonged just to us. Back then we promised each other that we would write should we ever be separated. I have to admit that I never wrote to him. I never reached out to him.”

Genji sounded wistful. Jesse heard the small smile but also the sadness in his words. The memory had to be a bittersweet one. He understood the feeling only too well which was why he remained quiet for the time it took Genji to work through his thoughts.

“Sombra, would you be very disappointed if we cut our visit here a little shorter. I wish to check out the message in person. I mean, it could be a coincidence but then again, I use this address these days. So maybe Hanzo never deleted his.” Jesse thought that he heard something like hope resonate in Genji’s voice. It was quiet but there and reminded him of evenings spent together, talking about their respective pasts. At least until the alcohol blurred his memories.

Jesse couldn’t understand Sombra’s reply because Genji covered the microphone with either his hand or against his chest. He didn’t mind.

“Sombra will get us on the next flight into the States. We will let you know when we land.” He paused. “It will be good to see you again, Jesse.”

“Yeah.” Jesse grinned. “I miss you, too. Stay careful, you two, you hear? Don’t do anythin’ I wouldn’t do.” That earned him a scoff and laughter.

“That list will be very short then, _hermanito_ ,” Sombra’s voice suddenly echoed in his ear. She must have pulled the phone towards her. Genji’s quiet chuckles followed her words and Jesse shook his head. Somehow he had expected it.

“Goodbye, Jesse.”

“See you soon, _pendejo!_ ”

Of course Sombra had to get one last dig in. Jesse wouldn’t have wanted her any other way.

*~*~*

Ana and Reinhardt’s home was a medium sized house sitting on the left side of the road that led into the city. It was also the very first house on that road and its facade looked like a combination of both their ancestry. It should have looked strange but somehow they managed to make it look charming. Even the roses looked like they belonged in that garden and nowhere else.

Jesse parked his pick-up truck between Reinhardt’s old Chevrolet and a cherry-red Beetle. He didn’t know for sure but he could take a guess at exactly who drove the little bug. They had been talking about a car like that ever since they were old enough to get their driver’s licence. Or well, ever since Fareeha was old enough to get her licence. He had been driving for a couple of years already.

“Are you going to come in or do we have to take the grill out to the front lawn?”

Jesse didn’t even try to hide the grin that stole over his face. He put the truck in park, pushed his hat back on his head and ran a hand across his face. It was the hottest day of the week and he hadn’t been able to sleep much the night before.

They hadn’t seen each other in almost a year and yet the first thing that came to his mind was the little girl that followed him into every tree he climbed. The second one was of her sitting on the hood of his car demanding he teach her how to drive. She had been twelve at the time.

“Jesse?” He jumped slightly when it was Ana, who pulled his door open. He had been lost to happier memories and didn’t see her approach. “Are you alright, Jesse? You have been sitting in your car for the past five minutes.”

“I’m alright, Ana. Just tired. I thought Ree was outside.” He huffed, more from reflex than annoyance. But her words had the desired effect, or at least he thought so, because Jesse unbuckled his seatbelt and slid out of his car. He needed to hold onto his hat, though, because it caught on the frame.

His feet hadn’t quite found his footing yet when Ana wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down into a tight hug. He returned her embrace just as fiercely though he tried not to squeeze too hard with his metal hand. She didn’t need any bruises and Fareeha would have his head if he hurt her mother. Accidental or not.

“We should head inside,” Ana said when they finally let go of each other. “We have been busy preparing dinner for most of the day. Although Fareeha kept stealing ingredients left and right. Just like someone else I know.”

Jesse laughed and leaned back. His chest went a little tight when he remembered those days. One of them would distract Ana while the other grabbed the food. Times had certainly been easier back then.“We should head inside, before Ree steals all the food.” Ana laughed and took the arm he offered her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, stop by on [dewdlepies](http://dewdlepies.tumblr.com/) tumblr and let them know how lovely they are! They created [this](http://dewdlepies.tumblr.com/post/172281579667/my-contribution-to-mcbigbang-for-the-mchanzo-big) gorgeous piece of artwork for my story and I am so happy that I can share it with you people!


	3. Part Three

Jesse spent the night at Ana and Reinhardt’s house when it became late enough to be early again. It had started with a barbeque dinner and ended with all of them sitting around the small living room table, sipping wine and whiskey and reminiscing about days gone by. They hadn’t talked about the hardships of their past and focused on talking about the good things. The cities they visited on missions. The small, precious secrets they found. They had looked at all the photos and even some of the old videos that survived the multiple moves. It had been easier and harder than Jesse could have imagined but he was still glad that he had taken them up on the offer.

He had even managed to sleep for a solid six hours that night, though he wasn’t sure whether it had been the alcohol, the company, or a combination of both with added exhaustion that had him knocked out for so long. It didn’t really matter in the end. What mattered, though, was that he had seen Fareeha again and that they had plans to meet again before she left.

That had been three days ago.

Jesse woke at exactly 3:30am to Betsy’s excited barking and his doorbell trying to bring down the roof. Whoever had their finger on it was going to get an earful. Getting up early wasn’t really a problem for Jesse but he had only gone to bed some time after midnight. In his efforts to get used to his prosthetic he had continued to knit in the evenings while letting something drone on in the background. That particular evening he had found a documentary about the history before the Omnic Crisis. It hadn’t been long before his eyes were glued to the screen and his fingers moved all on their own. The stitches had been irregular and he lost one or two but the needles were neither bent nor broken which was a success in itself.

“Goddamn people.” Jesse pushed his prosthetic into place, pulled Peacekeeper from beneath his pillow and slowly made his way downstairs. Betsy’s barking effectively covered his heavy steps along with any creaking that he couldn’t evade without jumping down the stairs completely.

“Are you sure that Jesse will not simply sleep through this? You remember how deep he has always slept, don’t you?” Jesse stopped dead in his tracks and stared at his closed front door. The voice was muffled but he would always be able to pick it out in a mess of noise.

“Of course he will wake up. He was able to sleep through a lot of drills but he always woke up when a cat or dog made any kind of noise. You should have seen him back then. Little beasts couldn’t even finish making a noise and he would come running.”

Betsy jumped from side to side before she turned around and barked at Jesse. Her paws slipped on the floor when she ran over and around him. She was protective of him but had never been a proper guard dog. She got excited too easily.

“You gotta be kiddin’ me.” Jesse stared at the door, his dog, then back at the door before he relaxed slightly. Peacekeeper still held at the ready he allowed his shoulders to slump slightly. Betsy moved away from the door when he pointed to the spot next to him. She didn’t fall silent, though her barking turned into a long whine. Of course she knew the voices on the other side of the door just as well.

“Just because it’s true doesn’ mean you can go around tellin’ ev’ryone you know.” Jesse pulled the door open and frowned at his early morning visitors. He flipped the lightswitch right next to the entrance. The small lamp above their heads sprung to life and covered them in a warm, yellow glow.

Sombra’s finger slipped from the doorbell and blessed silence fell over his house. Or as silent as it could be with a dog dashing past to greet them. They both looked overtired and dusty but Betsy didn’t care. She jumped up and down around them, hoping for pets and treats.

“Don’ tell me your walked all the way,” Jesse asked flatly, put Peacekeeper down on the small table underneath the lightswitch and leaned against the door frame. He wasn’t mad that they were already there but he hadn’t expected them at this time. It was too early to be morning and too late to be evening. Though they never cared all that much about time when they didn’t have to.

“Well, somebody couldn’t wait until morning. That mail’s not going to self destruct, you know?” Sombra groused but bumped gently into Genji’s side to ease the sting of her words. It only earned her an eyeroll and a tired grin.

“I would say that I am sorry,” Genji started, shoulders pulled up and head tilted slightly. The grin on his face sliding from tired to mischievous for a split second. Then it broke into a wide yawn.

“But you’re not, I know,” Sombra finished his sentence for him before following suit with her own yawn. Jesse only shook his head and chuckled quietly.

“You guys are somethin’ else, you know?” He huffed. “Come on then. Get inside and get settled. Might as well try and get some sleep now that you‘re here. Sombra’s right though, Genji. If that mail hasn’t vanished yet, it won’t vanish now. Last I saw, it’s still sitting there in my inbox.”

Sombra didn’t wait for him to step aside. She picked up her bag, which looked surprisingly small considering that they had been travelling, and shoved past Jesse. Betsy followed her, tail wagging happily.

“Upstairs, third door on the right,” Jesse called after her, his gaze never leaving Genji’s face. His friend looked tired, that much was true, but there was something else in his eyes. Something that made Jesse hope that the email he had received truly was from the elusive Hanzo.

*~*~*

“Good to see that you’re feeling right at home,” Jesse grumbled, staring blearily at his kitchen clock, which read 8:35am. He was surprised that he had managed to fall back asleep once Sombra and Genji had been settled into their rooms for the rest of the night. It didn’t happen often so he counted it as another small success. He was slowly gaining more of those as time passed.

Sombra grinned at him, waving a red coffee mug at him that looked suspiciously like his favourite one. She looked right at home in his kitchen as well with an empty cereal bowl in front of her and her - shoeless, thank god - feet up on his table. Genji sat beside her, holding a steaming mug of tea. His hair, back to his natural black for once, stood up in every which way.

Jesse’s chest ached slightly because it was still a familiar sight, even if the last time they had been together like this was far in the past. Memories bubbled up, unbidden but not unwelcome. They had been younger then. Fresh to a new team and cautious around each other. Sombra lacked her undercut and Genji still sported a shock of blue hair. He himself had been trying to figure out what kind of beard suited him the most.  

“I have to admit that I am surprised you have tea in your pantry.” Genji lifted his mug. “From what I remember you were very insistent that coffee is the superior beverage.”

“And I stand by my opinion.” Jesse grinned. “But every once in awhile I need somethin’ else. I also keep some in stock just in case you come wandering in my door.” Jesse shrugged and turned around, effectively hiding his grin. He grabbed his second favourite mug - black with “Wanted - Dead or Alive” printed in big white letters - from the cupboard. The coffee he poured from the pot looked as dark as the mug itself.

“How likely is it that I’m gonna die drinkin’ your coffee?” he asked, staring into his mug. It felt like looking into a black hole. If the liquid hadn’t reflected the light he wouldn’t have known that there was something inside at all.

“Scared that it’ll burn your stomach, _hermanito_?” Sombra took a long sip from her mug, one eyebrow raised teasingly. “Don’t worry, it won’t kill you. Might send your heart for a spin but it won’t kill you.”

Jesse waited for another short moment in which he stared into the coffee. Then he shrugged, leaned back against the counter and took a sip. It was strong; way stronger than he usually preferred it, but it was still drinkable. The warmth travelled down his throat and settled in his stomach. Perfect for a peaceful morning.

Which was interrupted by a small snort coming from the table.

“It seems that you have foiled her plan, Jesse.” Genji chuckled behind his mug and when Jesse looked up he saw Sombra pouting. Something clicked in his head.

“Lemme guess - you made yourself a mug of regular coffee and made my pot extra strong just to see whether or not I would spit it out, didn’t you?” He grinned at his friends. “You forgot that I used to drink the stuff Gabe made on a regular basis. Now _that_ could curl you toenails.”

“ _Dios mio_ , how could you drink _that_ ?” Sombra shuddered hard enough to almost drop her mug. “You could have tarred a street with that stuff! How did you _survive_ that?”

Jesse shrugged once and sauntered over to the fridge. He thanked whatever deity that watched over him that he remembered to buy groceries the day before. Though he doubted that they would last them very long. Both Sombra and Genji could eat like it was going out of style and yet they didn’t look like it. Very unlike Jesse himself. He had grown softer around the middle during the last year and a half.

“It was the only thing we had most of the time,” he replied while he pulled out everything he needed to prepare some pancakes. “The good thing about Gabe’s coffee was that it kept you awake when you needed to _stay_ awake.”

“That is true.” Genji put his cup down with a gentle ‘click’. “I remember a couple of missions where Commander Reyes’ coffee was the only thing keeping us awake enough to survive. Have you forgotten them, Sombra?”

“No, no I have not.” She sighed and put her mug down. Jesse knew that not knowing where Gabriel Reyes was made her feel uneasy. It made them all feel uneasy. Yet there was nothing they could do. If Gabe didn’t want to be found, nobody could find him. Jesse hoped that he would see the man again some time before he had to meet his maker.

“Anyway, where have you guys been? What cities did you visit?” He listened to her chatter on about the various sights they visited. Sometimes he chimed in with a small story of his own because every now and then he had been able to explore the cities he had been stationed in. Jesse flipped his last pancake onto the stack already sitting beside him. He turned off the stove and grabbed the syrup from the cupboard above.

Genji and Sombra talked while he ate. They alternated between stories and while those sounded more and more outrageous, Jesse knew that at least half of them had to be true. Once he finished they turned the tables on him and asked about his progress with his arm and the farm in general.

“It seems that life on this farm suits you rather well, Jesse. I mean, now you can be a real cowboy. Tell me, are you going to get a herd of cattle as well?” Genji grinned at him but there was something in his eyes again. They were all aware that they were ignoring the elephant in the room.

“Maybe some horses and chickens,” he replied. “Not sure about cattle, though. Would be fittin’, I know, but I’m only one man. I know, I’m good but I’m not that good. But I think that’s enough chit-chat. Let’s get to the mail and see whether or not we got your brother talkin’ to me.”

Jesse wasn’t sure but it looked like Genji deflated a little at his words. Even Sombra remained quiet, knowing well that Hanzo was a sensitive subject to their friend.

“You are right.” Genji rubbed a hand across his face. “Let Sombra and me take a look at the message.” He huffed a weak laugh. “I feel foolish for hoping that it actually is my brother and yet at the same time I am afraid that it is him. I don’t know what I will do if it _is_ him.”

“Hope’s never a foolish thing.” Jesse stood to get his datapad. “Sometimes it’s the only thing helpin’ us go on when we want to just give up.” He paused, staring down at the words glaring back at him. “It helped me continue when I just wanted to end it all.”

“ _Hermanito_ .” Sombra jumped up and came over to him. Her slender arms wriggled beneath his own and she pressed her forehead against this back. “Don’t be stupid. I won’t allow you to just ‘end it all’ and Genji won’t either. _Pendejo!_ ”

“Sombra.” Jesse sighed, wrapped his flesh hand around hers and squeezed them gently. “I’m not thinkin’ about that anymore. Well, at least not as often as before. Can’t deny that there are dark moments where everythin’ just feels too much. But now, let’s see if we can’t help Genji.”

She squeezed him tightly one more time before she slipped the datapad from his hands and wandered back to the table. Genji shuffled his chair closer to her side and Jesse fought off a grin. They looked shockingly similar, with their unusually bright colours and sometimes rather adventurous hairstyles.

“Alright, let’s see who you are, Mister.” Sombra grinned and pulled out her own datapad. She connected them with a few quick taps and Jesse stared at the multitude of windows popping up a moment later. He knew that there was no way he would be able to read anything out of the numbers and letters rolling past at an alarming speed. Still he stepped behind her chair to look at the screen, too.

“How can you make anything out of that, I wonder?” Genji’s eyes tried to follow the numbers just like Jesse’s did. He seemed to be just as lost.

“Do you really want me to start explaining?” Sombra looked at them, first Genji, then Jesse, with a mischievous glint in her eyes. She seemed to be calculating how long she would have to talk about bytes and coded messages before they would flee the room.

“Nah, don’t need to know what it means, ‘s long as you know what’s important.” Jesse raised his hands in deference. He knew enough about datapads and data in general to get around in missions and daily life. Everything beyond that could stay where it was - mainly, in Sombra’s head.

“I would not even try to understand,” Genji admitted sheepishly. “And why would we keep you around if we both knew how to hack a system?”

“Because you love me, _pendejo._ ” Sombra laughed while her fingers flew across the keyboard. Her eyes followed the different windows that popped up. She didn’t seem concerned, so Jesse let his hands drop to the backrest of her chair. Sombra leaned back ever so subtly until she was pressed against them.

“That we, do, _hermanita._ ” He smiled when her fingers stopped for a moment and she ducked her head slightly. Genji chuckled and nodded his head in agreement.

Silence fell over the little group while all three looked at the numbers rushing through the different windows.

*~*~*

“Hah! Got you!”

Sombra’s satisfied cheer echoed through the kitchen and pulled Jesse from his light doze. Betsy, who had been sleeping beneath his chair, scrambled out from under him and barked once questioningly. Genji, who had taken refuge in the living room, came skidding into the kitchen as well. He nearly stumbled over Betsy but caught himself in the last moment.

“You have it? Really?” If Jesse hadn’t known Genji as well as he did, he probably wouldn’t have heard the barely perceptible tremor in his voice. Or seen the faint shake in his hands when he pulled the datapad in front of him.

The mail Jesse had received in reply sat right in the middle of four different windows that all showed various numbers and letters running down.  

“I have to say, their security is pretty well established and they work with a tight observation net. Not good enough to keep me out, of course, but still better than most other systems I work with.”

Jesse grinned widely because Sombra was rarely impressed by anything let alone the security measures of other people. So hearing her grudgingly admit that someone else did a good job was like striking gold.

“Anyway, I can assure you that this message came from somewhere in Hanamura, Japan. I could get you the coordinates if you like. Or maybe a photo of the place it came from. One of the satellites has a good camera. I can get _really_ close with it.”

“High security is necessary,” Genji replied, tracing the address with his fingertips. “Because the Shimada name is known all around Japan and even across the border. There are many people who wish to see us dead or locked away in prison for many generations to come. My brother, being the first born son, has been destined since his birth to take over our father’s empire. The elders made sure that he was trained from the age of five. They wanted to make him the perfect heir. Their perfect puppet, if you ask me.”

Jesse looked at Sombra, lips pressed together. They both remained quiet while Genji stared at the message in front of him. There was something melancholic about the way he spoke of his brother. They had talked about their respective pasts during downtime between missions or when they had to do a stake out. Not every mission was gunfire and wild chases. Most of the time it was waiting for something to happen. Of course they talked about everything and nothing.

“I was three when they called him to join their meetings. I didn’t realize that his training had started already. The only thing I knew back then was that my brother had a lot less time to play with me. He would always be hurried from one lesson to the next, with two guards and one of the elders walking with him. But even then he would sneak out during the night to visit me. He was exhausted but still tried to be a good brother to me.”

Sombra carefully slid the chair next to her out from beneath the table and Jesse took the hint. He sat down as well. Genji looked at them both and then back at the message in front of him. He had a small, sad smile on his lips.

“It is possible that this mail is from my brother,” he said slowly. “I can’t be sure about it but the address, the way it is worded - it could be him. Maybe a picture of its origin would be best, yes. I don’t want to get my hopes up too high without being sure. We did have similar addresses back then but inactive accounts are deleted after a time. It is also possible that the elders found his old account and are trying to use it as a lure. I do not believe that they really gave up their hunt.”

“Alright then.” Sombra took the datapad into her hands again. She put the message into the background and opened yet another window. This one showed the outlines of the world behind a net of thin vertical and horizontal lines. Jesse’s eyes watered slightly when a small bullseye started to flit all over the map until it zoned in on the outline of Japan.

Sombra tapped in another few commands and the map zoomed in rapidly. The bullseye didn’t move from its spot, though. Instead the map jumped at them.

“Right, here you are. That’s the place this mail came from originally. Right down to the room.” She turned the datapad back to Genji who took it after a moment’s hesitation.

Jesse watched his friend carefully. He noticed how his eyes widened fractionally; how his lips moved without sound. He saw the violent tremble in Genji’s fingers when he traced the picture on the datapad. It showed a large central building surrounded by smaller structures. All of them were encircled by a large wall.

“That’s Hanamura Castle.” Genji swallowed and tapped on the spot where the bullseye hovered. “It has to be Hanzo. It just has to be. Because that was his room when we were children.”

*~*~*

“What do you want to do now?” Jesse pushed his hat back. Genji had left them in the kitchen shortly after they had confirmed that the mail had come from his old home. Neither he nor Sombra had followed him. They both knew that Genji needed some time alone to process the news. It was the first contact in over a decade. It came from his brother’s old room. And yet it could still be a trap.

They had watched him walk out of the back door and over to the newly repaired barn. Jesse contemplated following him, just to make sure that his friend didn’t do anything stupid. He held himself back, though. Pushing and coddling were sure ways to make Genji clam up quicker than anything else. They had to give him time to work through it on his own.

It was only when the sun went down that Jesse left the house to find Genji while Sombra took over dinner preparations. Not without some bribing, though.

“I don’t know.” Genji sighed. He sat curled up on one of the crates Jesse used for storing materials and spun one of his shurikens around between his fingers. “On one hand, it is good to know that Hanzo has not gotten rid of his old, private email. On the other hand, I can not be entirely _sure_ that it is truly him answering. I mean, yes, the message came from Hanamura Castle and from his old bedroom but who says that it was Hanzo himself who wrote it? It could have been some lackey who had been tasked to answer any messages that reached this address.  Even though they should not even know about them as _Hikono_ was rather new when we created them. We never told the elders about small things like that. I do not know if Hanzo kept it secret even after I left.”

Jesse nodded. He closed the door slightly and hiked himself up onto the crate. Genji’s concerns were valid, after all. Being the head of a Yakuza clan couldn’t be very easy.

“They never seemed to look for you on your private email,” Jesse reminded him gently. “Sombra would have seen that and made sure that nobody could find you. But you really want it to be him.” It wasn’t a question. Everybody with eyes could see the yearning in Genji’s expressive face. “Why don’t you write him, too? He should remember you, shouldn’t he? I mean, from what you told us, that brother of yours always tried to keep you out of the limelight, right? Tried to protect you even if it looked like he pushed you away. So maybe he’d like to know that his work hadn’t been for naught and that his little brother made something out of his life. Hell, it could be the first step towards a reunion!”

“Do you think that it would be a good idea to reach out to him? By now he is the head of one of the biggest Yakuza clans in all of Japan and feared by people all around the world.” Genji ran a hand through his hair and sighed. He looked tired. “Additionally, do you truly think he will believe me? The last time we were in contact was shortly before I joined you and Sombra for our first mission. That was, what, ten or fifteen years ago? And on that day we didn’t even talk. We fought and things were said that I still regret to this day. Things that I would take back if I could.”

Jesse paused. He knew that feeling, too. There were more than just a few people in his past that he left behind with less than friendly words. Many of those he had regretted after mere days or weeks. But pride was a stubborn thing and back then Jesse had been a lot more prideful. In the end he left a lot of good friendships behind because he couldn’t bring himself to make the first step. As time passed he learned that regret was bittersweet.

Maybe he should take his own advice and see if he couldn’t reach out to a few people he still missed quite a bit. He could probably ask Sombra to dig up a few addresses and phone numbers. She always liked finding information, whether it got used or not. Jesse slipped his cigarillos from his jeans remembering the day she had sent him a box full of his favorite brand on his birthday along with a bottle of very expensive whiskey. When asked why, she had merely grinned and shrugged. He hadn’t questioned it any further.

“I have to admit, though, that there have been times when I thought about reaching out to Hanzo. Mostly on his birthday and holidays.” Genji’s words pulled Jesse from his own thoughts. He shifted slightly and looked back at his friend. His eyes were unfocused and his lips pulled into a small smile. It seemed like he was watching something from a long time ago. A happy little memory.

“Why haven’t you?” Jesse pulled a cigarillo free of its box but didn’t light it just yet. He remembered the struggle Genji had gone through to stop smoking after a piece of shrapnel nearly took out his lungs. Those had been explosive times and Jesse didn’t need a repeat of them.

“Probably because I didn’t want to endanger him.” Genji looked at the cigarillo with a wry grin; his eyes still held some lingering memories. “You don’t have to stop yourself from smoking just for my sake, Jesse. I can handle a little smoke in an airy room like this.”

“Nah, that’s quite alright, don’t need to smoke just needed somethin’ to do with my fingers.” Jesse huffed, slightly embarrassed. Maybe he really should try to tone down his smoking habits. His doctor was on his case about that anyway. “You were talkin’ about endangering your brother. What do you mean exactly? I mean, I got some ideas from what you told us but who knows what Yakuza can really do, right? And anyway, doesn’t he say what goes and what doesn’t?”

Genji looked at him for long enough that the gaze alone felt like an army of ants marching over his skin. Jesse remained quiet and tried not to squirm too much. He knew that finding the right words sometimes took a while.

“My brother always protected me,” Genji repeated slowly. “The elders did not take well to me taking up Hanzo’s time with ‘silly games’. For them it was important that he started learning very early on how to lead the Clan. How to be ruthless, even against his own family. They wanted him to see me as nothing more than an asset. They wanted him to not see me as his brother but just another associate. Because associates are interchangeable to them. If one was not useful to them anymore they got rid of them and put another into their place.”

Genji fell silent for another moment and Jesse shifted in his seat. The idea about simply swapping a family member for some faceless individual irked him. He wanted to say something but he also knew that Genji wasn’t finished talking just yet.

“But Hanzo refused to listen to them. He continued to play with me, even when they started trying to train me into being one of their puppets. Back then I followed their words, too, because it was something Hanzo did. I thought that maybe they would see reason and allow me to train with him. For a few years we continued to stay close to each other. We talked a lot during the nights because we were not able to do so during daytime because there was always someone with us. The older we got, though, the further we drifted apart. We started arguing more than we talked to each other. I wanted to be free from the cage that we lived in while Hanzo slowly bent to the pressure the elders put on him. It was painful to watch. Especially when I snuck out during the night and Hanzo took the brunt of the punishment because he did not stop me.”

Genji’s voice didn’t tremble but Jesse could hear the underlying emotion just fine. Sorrow, yearning and a small flickering hope that made his heart clench almost painfully. He never had siblings but there were people who he always thought of as his family. Fareeha, Ana, and Reinhardt were the closest thing to a family he could think of. Yet he still couldn’t imaging going through something like that.

“Thinking back on it, I can see what he did and why he did it. Why he tried to make me hate him when just talking did not work. Why he continued to play the role of a dutiful heir. Back then I thought that he did not see their obvious games.” Genji plucked a stray bit of hay from where it was lodged in the wood. “It is so easy to understand now. As I said, he pushed me away to make it easier for me to leave. I had planned on leaving the Clan for a long time but I did not want to leave my brother behind. Hanzo had never left me behind, no matter what. I wanted to see my brother safe and out of the hands of the elders.”

“But he kept pushin’ you, didn’t he? He kept pushing and pushing, playing the role perfectly,” Jesse said quietly.

“He did.” Genji nodded, small smile on his face. “But I was stubborn. Stubborn enough that the elders ordered Hanzo to _get me back in line_ and if he could not make me bow down to them they wanted to see me dead. Because a _loose canon_ is not useful.”

Jesse nearly tumbled from his seat when Genji’s words registered. They had talked about their pasts during the years but never this deep. It was always just the bare surface and maybe one or two inches deeper. Enough to know each other but not deep enough to find the core.

His shock must have been visible on his face because Genji gave him a wry smile and nodded once.

“The elders never liked me much, after all.” He shrugged, pulled one leg up on the seat and rested his chin on his knee. “They did not like that Hanzo protected me in whatever way he could even when he was barely old enough to understand their words. Their order to kill me was supposed to be a sign of loyalty for him. They wanted to test him and how well their brainwashing had worked. Additionally, they would have been rid of me as well. It was the perfect plot in their eyes.”

Dread settled in Jesse’s stomach. Dread and anger at the people who thought they could decide over who lived and who died. In that moment Jesse wished he could stop time for a while, fly to Japan, and introduce Peacekeeper’s bullets to their faces.

“I take it that he didn’t go through with the killin’ then. You're still here with us.” Jesse flicked the destroyed cigarillo from his jeans. He hadn’t noticed how he had picked it apart with his metal hand. Though this time he didn’t quite care about it. It was something to channel the anger into, at least.

“Hanzo came to me, blade drawn and eyes unreadable.” Genji shuddered and closed his eyes. “We fought but he held back. I knew that he did not fight with everything he had. He allowed himself to be hit but never tried to strike me anywhere vital. Just small cuts and bruises that would heal quickly enough. I, on the other hand, fought with everything I had learned. I thought that they had truly broken him by then and that he was merely playing with me. He has always been better than me.”

“But he didn’t play with you. He was still pushin’ you away.” Jesse reached out and gently squeezed Genji’s shoulder. The action earned him a small smile and a snort.

“He had to spell it out for me,” Genji admitted. “He dropped his sword and just looked at me. ‘ _Go! Leave, Genji. I do not want to kill you. Get out of here. Leave Hanamura. Leave Japan! I know that you always wanted to travel. I will not stop you. Just go! Please, just go!_ ’ Those were his words. I can still hear him. Hanzo has always been proud but in that moment I just saw a broken man. He did not beg but I think that he would have done that, too, if I had not done as he asked and fled. I have not spoken to him since then. There were many days, though, where I wanted to see him again. Moments in which I would have liked to ask his counsel.”

Silence fell over them and Jesse swallowed hard. He had known that Genji’s leave from Japan hadn’t been by choice but he hadn’t imagined it to be _that._ The only stories he heard about that elusive older brother had been fun stories about happy times and pranks they played on each other. They talked about training and lessons and what they liked and didn’t like. Never in all their conversations and story telling had they talked about that side of their former life. About the darker sides of their family, chosen or not. Then again, Jesse himself only shared the happy stories from his childhood and teenage years. He never talked much about the hardships of being in a gang and getting in conflict with law enforcement. Most of the time he simply glossed over it.

The only one who could know everything was Sombra and that was mainly because she was able to hack into the classified files. He never shared the story of the man who found him, broken and close to being locked away forever. The man who saw something in him when the world had left him to rot away.

“Write him.” Jesse jumped down from the crate and looked at Genji. “Write him and maybe talk about somethin’ you two shared that only the two of you know of. That could help him realize that it’s really his little brother writing and not an imposter. Heh, maybe you brother wants out, too? Who knows. Ten years is a long time. I mean, he helped you get away from the bad stuff, after all.”

Genji looked at him and Jesse got the feeling that there was an idea forming in his friend’s head. He could almost hear the gears grinding together faster and faster.

“Would you be willing to help me out if my brother wants to leave Japan as well?” Genji asked, voice low and almost breathless. It seemed as if he expected him to deny his request.

Jesse took a deep breath and watched his friend for a long moment. It was going to be dangerous. He remembered from his time with Deadlock that interactions with Yakuza clans should be kept to the minimum. They were vicious and prone to holding a grudge. He should really think about his answer.

“What do you need me to do?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, stop by on [dewdlepies](http://dewdlepies.tumblr.com/) tumblr and let them know how lovely they are! They created [this](http://dewdlepies.tumblr.com/post/172281579667/my-contribution-to-mcbigbang-for-the-mchanzo-big) gorgeous piece of artwork for my story and I am so happy that I can share it with you people!


	4. Part Four

Genji and Sombra stayed for almost two weeks after their conversation out in the barn. Jesse stood beside his friend when he wrote the email to his brother. The first one in years. He had kept his hands on Genji’s shoulders to ground him when doubt tried to claw its way into his heart and his finger hovered with uncertainty over the ‘send’ button.

Jesse understood his reasons. It could have been a trap, but then again whoever was at the receiving end didn’t have to reply to Jesse’s misled message. They could have ignored it and no-one would have been the wiser. But there was a reply and if Jesse had believed in any higher powers he would have sworn that someone up there had a hand in this situation.

In the end it had been Sombra who took matters into her own hands and plucked the datapad from Genji’s grip. She encrypted the message and made it impossible for outsiders to trace it back to Jesse. Then she sent it and hugged Genji tightly. She could be as cold as ice and just as deadly but never to them. Once they had saved each other’s lives a couple of times they became thick as thieves.

“It will be okay, _colega_ , if that mail came from someone with ill intent they won’t be able to find Jesse. And if it is your brother he will know that you are okay,” she had said. “Now stop being stupid.”

They had laughed afterwards and ended the day looking at various types of chickens online. Jesse didn’t mind the teasing he got for turning into a _farmer_. It had distracted Genji and that was all that mattered to him. That and their opinion on what feathered menaces he should get.

Two weeks after Genji’s and Sombra’s visit Jesse woke to a warm ray of sunlight peeking through his curtains and hitting him in the face. He groaned, pulled his covers over his head and tried to go back to sleep. It was the second night in a row where he hadn’t awoken to nightmares and Jesse wanted to make the most of it. Just in case his luck ran out and his nights grew short once again.

Unfortunately for him, Betsy seemed to have a different idea. She came barrelling through his open door and jumped onto the bed to greet him with wet kisses. Jesse wheezed beneath his blanket when Betsy accidentally stepped on his throat in her rush to wake him up.

“Down girl.” He carefully pushed her away from his head. “I’m getting up. You're so impatient, Bets. What has you so excited? Did you see a squirrel again?”

Jesse yawned widely, winced when his jaw popped, and reached over to grab his prosthetic from the bedside table. Clipping it into place got easier with time but the sensation that ran through his body when his nerves connected with the prosthetic was something he would never get used to. At least Jesse hoped it would stop feeling weird in a few years.

Betsy jumped from the bed and ran over to his door. He had left it open when he went to bed because he had done it the last time he slept through the night. It had been a test of sorts. Maybe he should leave the door open every night then. It couldn’t hurt to try again, at least. As long as he got more hours of rest.

Jesse’s bones snapped into place with a loud _pop_ when he stood and stretched his arms above his head. He winced and rubbed his hand over his back where it had been the loudest.

“I’m gettin’ old, Bets.” He smirked and went to take care of his morning routine. Betsy faithfully plopped herself down next to the bathroom door and occasionally yipped. In the beginning Jesse had wondered whether or not the old girl had abandonment issues. He asked the woman who tended the shelter about it but she assured him that it was just a habit of hers. He had taken her word for it but kept an ear out just in case.

His bell rung right when Jesse had his trimmer up and ready to work on his beard. He didn’t hear the bell itself but Betsy sure did. She made a mad dash along the short hallway and down the stairs. He heard her bowl over the chair that stood next to the door towards the small front room. He had placed it there because he didn’t know where to put it otherwise and it wasn’t the first time Betsy crashed into it because she misjudged her speed. Maybe he should find another place for it.

Jesse turned off the trimmer and poked his head out of the bathroom door to listen. The main sound that echoed through the house was Betsy’s yipping and whining. She scratched the front door twice, too. He had hoped that she grew out of that habit but maybe she needed a bit more training.

A few moments passed in which his old girl continued to make a ruckus. She only quieted down when nothing more happened. Just when Jesse thought that his dog had just heard a bird or something similar the bell rang again and sent Betsy into another tizzy.

“Who could that be?” Jesse wondered. He wasn’t expecting anyone, especially not this early in the morning. It was barely seven o’clock. Maybe it was Ana or Reinhardt coming over for a visit? Though they usually called first to see whether or not he was awake. Could it be that Genji and Sombra had returned already? It wouldn’t surprise him that much.

“Only one way to find out, I guess.” Jesse grabbed Peacekeeper along with a shirt on his way down to the front door. He quickened his step when a third ring echoed through his house and sent Betsy into another barking frenzy. He held his gun out of sight when he reached the door and gently pushed his dog behind himself. She whined but settled down when he leaned down for a quick scratch.

“Good mornin’, what can I do for you?” Jesse opened the door with a welcoming smile that almost slipped of his face when he recognized the man in front of him. He had seen the sharp features and dark eyes once already. On a photo Sombra had found for them in the private files of the Clan. The ones that were supposed to be kept top secret. Genji had printed it out and taken it with him.

Yet the photo downplayed the sheer presence Hanzo Shimada exuded. His eyes demanded attention and Jesse suppressed a shudder at the coldness he saw in them. The way they quickly took him and the room behind him in told Jesse more than he wanted to know. Hanzo was already thinking about different ways to use his surroundings to his advantage should the meeting go south.

Jesse had been there one too many times himself to not recognize that behaviour. He took a deep breath and opened the door a bit further. With a quick flip of his thumb he secured Peacekeeper and carefully set her down on the side-table. Hanzo’s gaze followed his motion just like Jesse had expected him to.

“Shimada-san.” Jesse let go of the door and bowed slightly. He couldn’t remember everything Genji had told him about Japanese customs but he knew that shaking hands wasn’t the way to greet each other. The last thing he needed was to offend the brother of one of his best friends and possibly scare him away before Genji had a moment to talk to him.

“Mr McCree.” Not a question but a statement. It confused Jesse for a moment before he remembered Genji’s words after the message had been sent. He told him that he had taken Jesse up on his offer to let Hanzo hide in his farmhouse, should he decide to leave Japan. The hopeful look in Genji’s eyes kept him from admitting that he had meant it as a joke and so Jesse had resigned himself to preparing the guest room. He had also made a couple of escape plans in case the email had been a trap to lure Genji out of hiding. Or rather to find his home and make sure he didn’t come back to Japan for whatever reason.

“That would be me.” Jesse nodded and took a step aside. “Please come in. I have to admit I wasn’t quite sure you would show up.”

Hanzo, who had grabbed a frighteningly small bag from the floor, stopped moving. His sharp gaze focused on Jesse once again. Tingles raced up and down his spine and he swallowed against the lump in his throat.

“Was your offer not serious, Mr McCree?” There was no panic or surprise in Hanzo’s voice. It remained the same even tone as if he was completely unfazed by Jesse’s words or the fact that he stood in front of a house that was so far removed from what he was used to. But his body betrayed him. Mainly because Jesse had been trained to look out for it. His shoulders tensed and the grip on his bag tightened marginally before it relaxed again. The big cello case on his back shuddered only once before it settled.

And then there were his eyes. For a blink-and-you-will-miss-it moment they lost the calculation and coldness. Instead they showed tiredness, resignation and a kind of hopelessness that sent another, colder shiver down Jesse’s spine. As quick as it had appeared, though, it was gone again and Hanzo looked the cold-hearted Yakuza boss once more.

“The offer wasn’t made in jest, I can assure you,” Jesse said calmly. “If you want to stay here and lay low for a while, the guest room is all yours.” Then he smiled and his next words came out a lot gentler. “Genji will be happy to know that you're here. Now, please come in.”

Hanzo looked at him for a long moment before he nodded once and stepped over the threshold. His gaze fell onto Peacekeeper and his eyes came right back to Jesse, who only shrugged once not feeling sorry at all.

“I didn’t know who was comin’ and I’d rather be safe than sorry. I’m sure you understand.” He closed the door behind them, picked his gun up and held her out for inspection. He got the feeling that Hanzo wasn’t out to kill him just yet and Jesse prefered it that way. “I don’t know how much Genji told you in his message, but we served together in the same unit.”

Kirchgasse 35, 12043 Berlin

Jesse’s eyebrows rose a little before he snorted and nodded once. “Correct.”

He had almost forgotten who he was talking to - almost. Of course Hanzo would know what his little brother had been up to even if they hadn’t spoked in years. Jesse tried to keep tabs on Genji and Sombra when he had been in medical care. It wasn’t easy but he had people help him, too. “You have been keepin’ tabs on him, haven’t you?”

“It is none of your concern, Mr McCree.” Hanzo could have just said yes; his posture and defensiveness told Jesse what the man himself didn’t say.

He raised his hands with a small smile, completely ignoring that he still had Peacekeeper in his left hand. It didn’t escape him that Hanzo’s eyes flitted over his prosthetic. What surprised him, though, was the kind of sympathy he saw. It was there for a moment and then gone the next.  

He really needed to make sure that he didn’t just imagine things with Genji’s brother. Getting glimpses was all well and good but he would need a little more if he wanted to prevent himself from accidentally insulting Hanzo. The man could kill him in more ways than he would like to imagine - without a weapon.

“You spoke of a guest room,” Hanzo started when the silence stretched on for minutes. They had just been looking at each other. One warrior sizing up the other and while Jesse knew that he had the home advantage, he was also very aware that he shouldn’t underestimate Hanzo. If he had the same training that Genji had he was able to adapt to his surroundings far quicker than the average fighter.

And somehow his thoughts kept running along in circles telling him to be careful around the other man. For more than one reason, it seemed.

“Yeah, sure, follow me, Shimada-san. Please.” Remembering the honorific was easy but staying polite with ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ was going to be a little harder. Not because Jesse was an ‘impolite ox’ - Mrs Meyers’ words, not his own - but because he didn’t always need them when he was with family. But maybe this was a good time to practice them again - just in case.

Jesse climbed up the stairs first. The hair on his neck stood straight up when Hanzo started to follow him and he practically _felt_ the stare that was directed at his back.

“Bathroom’s that door over there.” Jesse opened the second door on the right side and allowed Hanzo to take a look inside if he wanted to. A shower, a sink with a medicinal cabinet above and a small dresser beneath it and a toilet - simple but functional. “We’re going to have to share but that shouldn’t be too bad. I promise, the bathroom’s spotless. I’ll put some towels out for you incase you want to take a shower. I imagine you have been travelling for quite a long time.”

Hanzo didn’t say anything. He simply stepped closer and took a quick look into the room before he continued following Jesse. He hoped that he hadn’t missed anything when he cleaned up the bathroom two days before, though he was fairly certain that he hadn’t. There was nothing in Hanzo’s gaze and expression that gave away what he thought about the facilities, simple as they were.

“And this is the guest-room.” Jesse opened the door with a small bow and wide grin. “It’s not the most luxurious place but it’s dry, air conditioned and all yours.” The room was small but Jesse had tried to make it look less like a cell. The room had rugs, a small sitting combination and a small bookshelf besides the functional furniture.

Hanzo moved past him and dumped his bag on the bed. The cello case was set down more carefully, though. As if it held something more precious inside. Maybe Jesse would be allowed a glimpse of it if he didn’t mess up too much.

“Right, anythin’ I can do for you while you get settled, Shimada-san? Would you like somethin’ to eat or a drink? Can’t say that I know a lot about Japanese food but I can at least offer you a sandwich or two.” And later he could take a look online where he might be able to scrounge up something that would give his guest something familiar. Being so far away from what you are used to was hell on the mood.

“Please, do not trouble yourself, McCree-san.” Hanzo turned towards him. “I am fine with whatever you have in your house.” He paused and looked at Jesse. His gaze still held on to the calculation but the coldness had thawed a little. Though maybe that was just tiredness creeping up. “I would not say no to some tea, though, if you have that in your kitchen.”

“Sure do,” Jesse replied easily, thankful that Genji still prefered tea over coffee. It meant that there was always at least one brand in his cupboard. “Don’t know if you like the one I got but I’ll let you decide. Now, I’ll leave you to get settled. Just come down when you feel ready.”

Hanzo nodded and turned towards his bag, effectively dismissing Jesse.

*~*~*

Jesse watched Hanzo from his seat at the kitchen table. He had just finished sending a message to Genji when his unexpected guest showed up in the kitchen. His hair was wet and he had changed out of his clothes.

Instead of the charcoal business suit from his arrival he was now dressed in something that Jesse assumed was traditionally Japanese. He had only ever seen pictures when Genji had tried to explain his home to him. The combination Hanzo wore was about as cheerful as the suit had been. Dark grey pants - though Jesse knew they had a different name - and a black top that seemed to be wrapped around him.

“Feel free to take what you need.” Jesse smiled when Hanzo hesitated in the doorway. “I only have that one brand but I can get you something else if you're going to stay here longer. I don’ mind. Just let me know what you prefer and I’ll see if I can’t get it ordered if need be. Oh, and I told Genji that you showed up this morning. Figured he should know.”

He practically felt the shift in the atmosphere. Hanzo’s eyes, which until then had been looking around his kitchen, snapped back to Jesse’s face.

“Where is Genji right now?” Hanzo’s voice was carefully calm and controlled. “I was under the impression that he was still close by.”

“Last I knew, he and Sombra planned to head up to Alaska for a while.” Jesse shrugged and leaned back in his chair. He shifted a little until he could stretch out his legs more comfortably. “Don’t ask me what they want to see up there. Nothin’ but snow and forests. But I’d bet my hat that he’ll be here as fast as he can to see you. He wasn’t sure whether or not you would show up so Sombra dragged him back on the road. To take his mind of the situation.”

That seemed to take Hanzo aback for a bit because his eyes widened before his features settled into a frown. Jesse watched him, curious and cautious. He was still surprised that the message Genji had sent managed to get the man to show up at his house in the middle of nowhere. He had no idea what he wrote; Japanese wasn’t exactly an easy language to learn.

“What makes you think that he would be happy to see me, McCree-san?” Hanzo picked up the small container that protected Genji’s favourite tea. He turned it around a couple of times, fingers shaking slightly.

Jesse wondered if the brand brought up any memories. When he bought it the first time and asked about it, Genji said that the tea reminded him of a time in his childhood where he hadn’t been under pressure. Of the evenings he spent listening to his older brother read to him. It could very well be that Hanzo felt just the same.

“Because he wasn’t sure whether or not you would want to see _him_ ,” Jesse said quietly. “He understood that you pushed him because you tried to get him to leave. That you wanted to protect him from losing himself, or rather, his life. You wanted him to have a life outside of the Yakuza. The one you couldn’t afford to have.”

It could have been a trick of the light but Jesse thought he saw Hanzo smile slightly. It was short and could have been missed easily.

“He was never meant to live the life of a Yakuza,” Hanzo admitted just as quietly. “He loved life itself far too much for that. He never cared about the repercussions his actions would have. If he wanted to go out or to a party, he did.”

“Yeah, that’s Genji, alright.” Jesse grinned. “Though he learned to be more careful.”

Hanzo remained silent after that but that was fine with Jesse. He could afford to let him have all the time he needed. It would give him the opportunity to study him and figure out exactly _what_ he was supposed to do now. He hadn’t expected Hanzo to show up at his front door. He hadn’t even expected to get anything beyond another polite reply.

“If you have a question, McCree-san, I suggest you simply ask.” Hanzo didn’t look at him. He busied himself with almost the same routine Genji had when preparing his tea. “I am not familiar with the art of reading thoughts.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to stare so hard.” Jesse knew that being the head - or former head - of an organized criminal empire honed some senses to the extreme. “I guess I just wondered how you managed to get out of Japan without bein’ seen. Didn’t you have masses of bodyguards?”

The look Hanzo gave him should have been arrogant but it simply looked satisfied. It seemed a little like he hadn’t even entertained the thought that his plan could fail. Maybe he had been under tighter observation than Jesse had imagined but still managed to slip through their fingers. In which case Hanzo had every reason to look like the cat that got the cream. Jesse only knew what Genji had told him, after all.  

“I left Japan like every other person - by plane.” Hanzo shrugged and turned to face the kettle but Jesse saw the small smirk on his lips. Jesse grinned and shook his head. It seemed like Hanzo wasn’t as stuffy as he thought he would be.

“You're a lot less grumpy than I thought you would be, given your background,” Jesse teased, knowing well enough that it could blow up in his face. He didn’t know this man. All he had were stories of a young boy and teenager. This could very well be the last day of his life because something told him that Hanzo Shimada would beat him in hand to hand combat. And he wouldn’t even break a sweat doing it.

Slowly Hanzo turned towards him and Jesse felt his heart leap into his throat. His muscles tensed, ready to jump while adrenaline surged through his veins. His vision turned razor sharp. His body prepared itself for a possible fight.

The _thud_ of his feet hitting the ground echoed through the kitchen and scared Betsy enough to send her rushing over to her sleeping spot under one of the counters. Jesse barely noticed it.

Hanzo’s face was a blank mask, eyes just as sharp and focused as Jesse’s. He kept his shoulders loose and relaxed. One hand rested beside the tea mug while the other hung open beside his hip.

Jesse knew that deceptively relaxed pose. Genji had used it in the beginning of their training together before he had cottoned on to it. After that they had worked on him implementing some of Genji’s training into his own routine. He could hold his ground but not against the man in front of him. Or at least not for very long. He was able to keep Genji busy for a while but Hanzo was in a whole different league.

The soft _click_ of the electric kettle broke their staring match as if it had been a gunshot. Hanzo’s mask of indifference slipped off his face. Left behind was a tired man who had taken a great risk to follow a message written by a brother he hadn’t seen in over a decade. Jesse slumped back in his chair and sighed. He whistled softly and waited until Betsy cautiously made her way over.

“I’m sorry, lil’ lady.” He scratched behind her ears, gaze focused down. It allowed them both a moment to recover their balance. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I am not sure if I want to know what kind of image you have of me, McCree-san.” Hanzo prepared his tea with slow, measured movements. “I do not know what stories my brother has told you. I cannot even think of a reason why you would offer your home to a man you only know from words. Stories about a man that are over ten years old.”

The words made Jesse pause. Betsy whined questioningly and pushed her wet nose into his hand. It was a good question, wasn’t it?

“Because someone gave me a second chance once and I think that it’s somethin’ you might need, too.”

Hanzo remained silent.

*~*~*

Two weeks passed before Genji replied.

Jesse hadn’t seen much of his guest during that time beside the occasional lunch or dinner. Despite their less than hostile first meeting Hanzo tended to either stay in his room or climb onto the roof to meditate. The first time he had scaled the outside of his house, Jesse had stared, open-mouthed. Betsy had gone crazy, yipped her little head off and jumped around like a bunny. She couldn’t understand that there was no way she could follow him.

It was also the first time Jesse saw Hanzo’s feet. Or rather the prosthetics that were usually hidden beneath slacks or the wide, traditional _hakama_. Maybe they were the reason why Hanzo seemed to be already awake whenever Jesse woke from one of his own nightmares. They looked extremely well made and like they were high maintenance. They also worked rather well when it came to climbing. Though Jesse knew that his house wasn’t that hard to climb, anyway.

His great-great-grandfather had build it from wood after he immigrated from Mexico. Over the years, the McCree family had kept the farmhouse and all side buildings well maintained. Until Jesse decided to leave home and run away with the Deadlock gang at the age of fifteen. He missed his father’s funeral a year after that.

It had been the wake up call he had needed.

“McCree-san?”

Jesse jerked backwards in his chair, turned and reached for his gun before remembering where he was and who was with him. Still his heart jackhammered in his chest and blood rushed through his ears.

“Shimada-san.” He inhaled deeply - once, then twice - before his pulse calmed. He also slid the datapad higher onto the table. “I didn’t hear you. Heh, not surprisin’, though.” Jesse shuddered slightly when the adrenaline faded. A last shudder made him twitch in his seat.

“I am sorry.” Hanzo bowed his head slightly. “I should have made myself known. I will make sure to do so in the future.” His voice was formal, without any emotion and Jesse got the feeling that his new housemate had spent years practising it.

“Nah, it’s fine.” He grinned, slightly unsure how to react when Hanzo’s face copied his voice and turned completely expressionless. “What can I do for you?”

Hanzo pulled out the chair opposite of Jesse’s spot and sat down slowly. He looked at the datapad with trepidation and hope. It was obvious that he wanted to know if his brother had answered. At the same time he dreaded the answer itself.

“Genji answered.” Jesse turned the datapad over, the message still open on the screen. Hanzo stared at him for a long moment before he pulled it closer to read.

Jesse leaned back in his chair and watched him carefully. Yet there was nothing in Hanzo’s expression that gave any indication of his emotional state. His face remained as blank a mask as it had been the first time they stood in front of each other two weeks ago.

“Two more months.” Hanzo looked up with a slight frown. Jesse winced but nodded. Two months in an icebox didn’t sound too pleasant.

  
“Yeah,” he agreed. “Seems like the weather changed rather unexpectedly and there’s no way to get a flight out of there.”

Hanzo tilted his head slightly and Jesse got the feeling that he didn’t quite believe him. Which was understandable. They only knew each other for two weeks and Hanzo had followed a message that could have come from anyone in the world. The only thing he had was something that only Genji could have known. But stories could be shared, either freely or under duress.

“You know what,” Jesse pulled his phone from his jeans and opened his contacts, “I’ll give him a call and you can talk to him. Alright?” He didn’t get more of a reaction than a slight widening of Hanzo’s eyes and the aborted motion to stop him. But Jesse was quicker.

 _“Jesse! How nice of you to call! Please get me out of here! There is almost no technology in this place! And the phone connection is too weak to hack into anything!”_ Sombra’s voice greeted him and he laughed at her exaggerated agony. If she called a phone connection too weak to hack something it meant that it was fine enough for phone calls.

 _“I don’t know why the_ pendejo _wanted to visit this icebox!”_ Her words were followed by Genji’s laughter in the background.

“Sorry, no can do, _hermanita._ ” Jesse grinned at Hanzo, who simply looked at him. “But I need Genji on the phone for a second. There’s someone who would like to talk to him.”

“McCree-san!” Hanzo hissed through his teeth. Jesse was amazed at how quickly the man could go from blank and emotionless to being expressive enough that it was easy to read him. Maybe, though, he had been trained in that as well for situations where he had to play a role.

 _“Alright. Oy,_ pendejo _, get back here. Someone wants to talk to you.”_ Jesse didn’t wait until Genji answered him. He stood up and placed the phone in front of Hanzo.

“Talk to him. That silence has gone on for long enough, don’t you think?” He smiled encouragingly when wide brown eyes stared at him. In that moment, Hanzo wasn’t the cold-blooded head of a Yakuza clan. When Genji’s voice rang out from the phone, he was merely a man who finally had the opportunity to talk to his brother again after over ten years.

*~*~*

Jesse leaned against the fence that surrounded the paddock behind the former stables. He remembered the way his mother had always stood leaning against the fence while his father taught him how to ride. They even bought him a pony so he could join them when they rode along the borders of their farm to check for holes in the fences or other disturbances. Maybe he really should get a horse or two again?

Footsteps alerted Jesse to Hanzo’s presence. He turned his head to watch the man walk closer. The sun just started setting and bathed them in warm red light.

“Thank you, McCree-san.” Hanzo handed him his phone. Jesse didn’t mention the tremble nor did he say anything about the slightly red-rimmed eyes that looked at him with something like relief. It wasn’t okay by a long shot but the first step had been made.

“No problem, Shimada-san.” Jesse slipped the phone into his jeans and turned back towards the paddock. He expected Hanzo to head back inside or to vanish up onto the roof like he usually did. It came as a surprise when the man joined him, instead.

They watched the shadows grow in silence. A gentle wind rose, chasing small clouds across the slowly darkening sky. It was unexpectedly comfortable to watch the world turn quiet and peaceful.

“Might get some horses again,” Jesse said into the silence. “Maybe even a pony, too.” He paused and turned to look at the stables. The building hadn’t aged as badly as the barn had but it still needed some work to make it usable again.

Hanzo only hummed in reply and they continued to watch the day end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, stop by on [dewdlepies](http://dewdlepies.tumblr.com/) tumblr and let them know how lovely they are! They created [this](http://dewdlepies.tumblr.com/post/172281579667/my-contribution-to-mcbigbang-for-the-mchanzo-big) gorgeous piece of artwork for my story and I am so happy that I can share it with you people!


	5. Part Five

Jesse woke with a gasp. His heart hammered against his ribs and the stump of his left arm burned as it had on the day he lost it. He gripped it with shaking fingers and swallowed against the bile that threatened to rise in his throat. It had been over three weeks since the last nightmare this bad. He knew that he had more during that time but those were a hazy blur when he woke in the morning.

Hanzo’s arrival had derailed his thoughts well enough to allow him a couple of nights of rather restful sleep. Which was surprising in itself. Jesse had never had a housemate and it had taken him a long time to get used to his roommate back in the military. Having a highly trained Yakuza on the other side of his bathroom should have made him feel a lot more uneasy than it did. Yet, there was something about Hanzo that set Jesse at ease in a way only few people could.

Maybe it was the fact that he didn’t behave the way Jesse had expected. When Genji told him about his brother, he had talked about their training and how the elders had tried to turn them into emotionless weapons. He talked about Hanzo slowly withdrawing from him. How he had turned colder as the months passed. How much it hurt even though he understood the reasons behind it.

The man that currently resided in his home often wore a blank expression when he was lost in thought. But just as often he quirked a quick smile or raised an eyebrow to show his amusement.

His eyes were another thing all-together. They were the kind of brown that turned from amber to jasper to almost black depending on the light. They were also the most expressive feature of Hanzo’s face no matter how blank his mask. He had them under control but not as well as he probably thought. Or Jesse had just gotten used to reading the unreadable.

Jesse fell back on his bed and turned onto his side. The alarm clock told him that it was almost 3am. He had been asleep for close to five hours this time. A new record but also all he would get that night.

He heaved himself from his bed, snapped his prosthetic into place and stumbled over to his dresser. There he switched on the small lamp Fareeha had gotten him when she came home for her first leave. It was a hideous thing with brightly coloured baubles and fringes and a base that looked like a fish swallowing a horse.

If he had received it from anyone else Jesse would have hidden it somewhere in the attic or in the basement and it would have been forgotten. But Fareeha remembered small things and she asked him more than once about the lamp. In the end he kept it hidden in his bedroom. That way he could always tell the truth.

Quiet steps outside his door caught Jesse’s attention. It seemed that Hanzo was awake, too, and from the sound of the steps he had just gone towards the bathroom. Jesse pulled a clean shirt from the dresser along with boxers and new jeans. He decided to shower when it was a more normal time to actually get up.

Hanzo stepped out of the bathroom when Jesse closed his bedroom door. They looked at each other, not surprised they were awake at this hour. Nightmares were one of the things they both knew only too well.

“Want a coffee?” Jesse slowly made his way over to the stairs where Betsy already waited quietly. She yawned widely and stretched. It made him grin.

“No, but I would not be adverse to a strong cup of tea.” Hanzo’s voice didn’t tremble but it held the underlying exhaustion that came with days of insomnia.

“Sure, just have to make sure to get more next time I’m heading into town.” Jesse reached down to scratch Betsy behind the ears when he passed her. She whined softly but only followed once Hanzo walked by her as well.

The house remained quiet while both men worked side by side preparing their drinks. Betsy went back to sleep on her pad beneath the counter. It seemed that she was happy just to be in the same room as them. Jesse watched her for the time it took for the kettle to start boiling.

“She is a rather friendly dog,” Hanzo said from beside him. Betsy’s head shot up as if she knew they were talking about her. When no commands or treats came her way she turned around on her pad and fell back asleep.

“Only when she likes people.” Jesse grinned. “She didn’t like the people who were supposed to care for her at the shelter she had been livin’ in. Must have managed to escape one night because the third day I was here I found her sleepin’ on the front porch. Brought her back to the shelter only for her to come back two days later. So I went to the shelter, talked to the nice lady that founded it and told her that I’d keep her. Haven’t regretted it yet.”

Betsy huffed in her sleep, making both men chuckle softly.

“Neither Genji nor I were ever allowed any pets when we were children.” Hanzo’s words came slow, as if he had to pull them from very deep down. Jesse watched him, for once not making a teasing remark. They rarely talked about their past lives and most of those conversations happened in the dead of night. It seemed that they both felt safer when the sun hadn’t risen yet.

“The only dogs allowed inside the Shimada castle were guard dogs.” Hanzo turned the cup in his hand. “I only asked my father for a cat once, when I was about five years old. I was not able to sit properly for about a week and after that I never asked again. Genji was much more resilient. He asked at least once a year - for his birthday.”

“Yeah, he talked about it a few times.” Jesse remembered a few less sober conversations. “He also tends to spoil the lil’ lady whenever he visits. Those days I always wonder who’s girl she is. His or mine.”

Hanzo laughed softly and Jesse almost dropped his coffee mug. It was the first time he heard him laugh in the time since he arrived. It was a low, deep rumble that sent a small shiver down Jesse’s spine.

“That does sound like something Genji would do,” Hanzo admitted. “He told me about your dog’s quirks when he called the last time. It seems like a safe topic to talk about. It may not be the happiest topic for us but it is somewhere to start.” He fell silent for a long moment. Jesse thought about saying something but a hunch told him that he should remain quiet.

“Genji always tried to help every animal in need that he found around the castle. I remember one day, he had just turned eight, when he pulled me out of the castle.” A satisfied smirk followed his words. “It was not the first time we snuck out, though. I followed him to a part of the garden that was hidden by high hedges. Beneath those hedges was a small family of black and white cats.”

Jesse watched as Hanzo got lost in the memory. His face turned soft and open, a small smile on his lips while his dark eyes stared down memory lane. He had seen the same expression on Genji’s face many times, mostly when they shared a drink and talked about everything and nothing.

“It was a mother with three small kittens.” Hanzo sipped his tea without conscious thought. “They had not even opened their eyes but the mother was very trusting. She allowed us to pet her and the kittens. We managed to hide and feed them for two weeks before the elders noticed.”

The expression that flitted over Hanzo’s face in that moment reminded Jesse just who he was talking to. His eyes turned hard and every indication of emotion slid off his face. The man before him wasn’t Genji’s brother, who took the leap of faith and fled the life he tried to protect his little brother from. The man that looked at him in that moment was the highly trained Yakuza boss.

“They had the kittens killed in front of us,” Hanzo hissed. “Each of them a different way and then they made me kill the mother in front of Genji. It was the first time that it really sunk into my head that they did not care about either of us.”

“Genji said somethin’ about you tryin’ to protect him when he was five.” Jesse looked at him, no sign of a smirk on his face. Hanzo nodded once.

“I did. Not yet because of the elders, but because I felt it was necessary,” he explained tiredly. “I was - am - the older brother. I have to protect him.”

Jesse wrapped his arm around his shoulders before his mind caught up with his body. He contemplated taking his arm back when he felt Hanzo tense beneath it but figured that it would make the situation even more awkward.

“You did a good job, Shimada-san.” Jesse squeezed his shoulder, eyes focused on Hanzo’s. “Genji turned into a good man. A man I am proud to call my friend and brother. Although that might sound creepy considering that his actual brother stands beside me. Don’t mean to steal him.”

This time he grinned sheepishly, squeezed Hanzo’s shoulder one more time before he took his arm back. For a moment he expected some kind of retaliation but was surprised once again. A faint flush appeared on Hanzo’s cheeks and he smirked up at Jesse.

“Genji told me that you had taken it upon yourself to be his big brother while you were in the service together. Should I be jealous? Should I worry about having been replaced?” Hanzo’s smirk slid off his face and his voice lost all traces of emotion.  It felt like a veil had dropped over his face and hid everything that seemed even remotely human.

“Okay, now _that_ shit is scary!” Jesse stepped away with an awkward grin and raised his hands. Hanzo just stared at him. “Genji does the same thing but I didn’t know it could get worse!”

A quiet but unmistakably annoyed whine echoed through the kitchen. Jesse broke first. The first chuckle that escaped him had a slightly hysterical note to it. That changed when he saw the first cracks in Hanzo’s mask. The corners of his mouth twitched and his eyes lost the blank look that left him looking like an omnic.

The first thing Jesse noticed was that Hanzo’s laughter wasn’t as loud or boisterous or even free as Genji’s. It didn’t seem forced either. It was more like he had gotten used to keeping his amusement to himself.

“I am sorry. It is a force of habit, as you say.” Hanzo smirked, though he didn’t sound sorry in the slightest.

“Nah, it’s all good.” Jesse grinned. This night took a decidedly different turn than he would have expected. He appreciated it, though, because staring into a cup of coffee by himself didn’t feel as calming as this. “Just wasn’t expectin’ it. I haven’t known you long enough to get used to your brand of humor. Genji’s …” He broke off and winced.

“Genji has always been more expressive than me.” Hanzo went to the sink and rinsed his cup, shoulders slumped forward. “He showed his affection for our parents and me freer than I ever dared to. The elders were less than amused about his lack of respect.”

“Oh, I can imagine that just fine.” Jesse rinsed his mug as well, although he usually just let it sit until after breakfast. In that moment it just didn’t feel like the thing to do. “Our commander had his hands full with him, too. I still don’ know how he managed to get Genji to do what he wanted. Maybe we could give him a call and ask? He has a lot of stories to tell.”

“Or we ask Genji when he arrives. I am sure he can tell them just as easily and maybe he can tell me some of yours as well.” Hanzo followed him out into the living room. Jesse shrugged, sat down in his armchair and listened to the quiet clacking of nails on wood as Betsy sleepily wandered after them.

“We can do that, though I don’t know how exaggerated they will be then.” He grinned when Hanzo settled on the sofa, not at all concerned about Genji telling stories. Some were more cringe-worthy than others but overall nothing too embarrassing happened in their time together.

“That remains to be seen.” Hanzo jerked a little when Betsy jumped onto the sofa next to him. She turned herself around a couple of times before settling on the middle cushion, close enough to Hanzo that she could rest her head on his thigh.

“Heh, looks like my lil’ lady likes you.” Jesse stretched and winced when his right shoulder popped loudly. “So maybe we can drop the honorifics, as well? I won’t push if you don’t want to but I’d be mighty glad if you just called me Jesse.” A simple request, really, but then why did his heart skip a beat when he said it?

“It may be less awkward when Genji arrives as well.” Hanzo didn’t look at him. Instead he carefully scratched behind Betsy’s ears. Jesse got the feeling that he wasn’t the only one feeling a bit uncertain in that moment. “Then, please, call me Hanzo. Now, I know that you are awake most nights just as you know that I do not sleep much myself. I wonder, though, how do you pass the time until sunrise? Most of the time I hear you walk down but not return back to your room.”

Jesse scratched the back of his neck and chuckled. His cheeks felt a little warmer than usual. Okay, so there still were things that made him flush.

“Well, it’s nothin’ special.” He shrugged, reached down and pulled the needles out of his little basket. “I knit. You haven’t seen this basket before?”

Silence fell over them while Hanzo studied the rather uneven stitches and Jesse felt the need to tuck them back beneath the balls of yarn. He still had a lot to learn until it looked anything like Ana’s but he hadn’t broken or bent any of the needles in the past month. He counted that as a success.

“You knit,” Hanzo repeated quietly. “My mother used to do embroidery when she was unable to sleep. She would sit by the window watching the full moon.”

Jesse looked up from where he plugged a stitch back onto the needle. The wistful smile on Hanzo’s face made something in Jesse’s chest ache painfully with the memory of his own mother She always knitted before going to bed despite the fact that they rarely had a need for woolen socks. His father read or taught Jesse how to whittle.

“Would you teach me?”

Jesse jerked away from his own trip down memory lane. He looked over and found Hanzo staring intently at him. “Teach you what?” His mind replayed the last couple of moments. “Teach you how to knit?”

Hanzo nodded earnestly and Jesse’s cheeks flushed again. What was going on?

“Sure, if you like.” He scratched the back of his neck and pulled the basket between his legs. “Lemme see if I have another pair of needles. I’m not good at teaching, though, just to warn you.”

*~*~*

Betsy loved Hanzo. She didn’t just like him. She loved him.

At least that’s what Jesse believed because his little, old girl had taken to sleeping in the middle of the hallway between his door and the door of the guestroom. She had even pulled her little pad over to lay more comfortably.

Jesse leaned against his door frame and watched her look from him to the guestroom door. Hanzo had just vanished inside to change his clothes. They had talked until the sun was high in the sky and Betsy had whined for food. Neither of them had gone too deep into their pasts but they didn’t have to. For that time it was enough to know that it was bad. During their conversation Jesse asked about Hanzo’s state of dress. As far as he had seen he only seemed to own the suit he had arrived in and two different sets of traditional outfits. Given that Hanzo needed to make a quick escape it was understandable that he travelled lightly.

Betsy jumped up when Hanzo stepped out of his room. He wore his slacks and one of Jesse’s t-shirts which shrunk during laundry. It sat a little tight around his biceps and chest area but the length was good.

“Well, that shirt looks better on you than it does on me.” Jesse tipped his hat. Hanzo rolled his eyes and tugged the shirt a little further down. “I’m glad that I didn’t throw it out. Are you ready to head out?”

“Are you sure this is a good idea, Jesse?” Hanzo leaned down before Betsy jumped up his leg. Her paws were mostly clean but that didn’t mean she didn’t have to learn not to do it.

“You need some clothes if you're gonna stay here for a little longer.” Jesse shrugged, pushed his hat back on his head and tugged his serape back into place. It hung low enough on his back to hide Peacekeeper tucked away in her holster. He never went out without his trusted gun even if the town was as safe as it could be.

“We don’t have to get a lot but a couple of shirts, jeans and maybe a pair of shoes.” He grabbed his wallet and waited for Hanzo at the bottom of the stairs. “Just the basics. I’m sure you're gonna find something.”

“I have no doubt about that and I am thankful that you are willing to take me into town.” Hanzo followed him out of the house with Betsy hot on his heels. “But I do not have a lot of money on hand. Leaving the Clan behind makes it impossible to pay without being found. Do you know stores that sell inexpensive clothes?”

Jesse watched him with a small smile. He had a couple of stores in mind that could be in Hanzo’s tastes and few that were right out of his imagination. But a little teasing wasn’t going to go amiss.

“I got some stores for you, don’t you worry.” They headed over to where Jesse had parked his truck in the shadow of the barn. “An’ hey, if your money isn’t enough, I’ll lend you some and you help me fix up the stables in return. Sound good?”

Hanzo stared at him wide-eyed while he just whistled softly and checked his rearview mirror. From the corner of his eye Jesse noticed Hanzo look at what was left of the stable. It didn’t look as bad as the barn had but it still needed some work done before he could even think of getting a horse again.

“That sounds like a good deal.” Hanzo climbed into the truck and closed the door. “I am not sure how much help I can be but I am willing to try. Genji mentioned that you repair this farm by hand. I also saw the photos you attached to the first mail. I did not believe that people still worked with their hands.” Then he snorted and shook his head. “This is such a different life than I led in Hanamura. It still feels like I will wake up on the right flight and find out that this is nothing more than a dream. A strange but wonderful, free dream.”

Jesse laughed, started his truck and carefully maneuvered it past Betsy who jumped around the car. Thankfully she didn’t get too close to the tires. The radio played quiet country music while the a/c whirred to life to keep the temperature comfortable. They were going to be on the road for quite a while and the sun was already trying to bake them alive.

“I can imagine that.” Jesse turned the a/c a little higher and leaned back. The road before him stretched out towards the horizon. “We both led different lives back then. Lives that formed us, that jaded us. But that doesn’ mean we can’t change them once again. It’s not easy but it’s possible. Can’t tell you how long it’ll take, though. ‘m still figurin’ it out myself. But there is a way. I found mine, Genji found his and you will find yours.”

“Are you turning philosophical on me, Cowboy?” Hanzo shot back, eyes narrowed playfully.

“Nah, just sayin’ it how it is, Archer.” Jesse winked. “Oh, and I thought about adding a small shooting range behind the barn. Nothing big, just some targets. I’d love to see that bow of yours in action. As a matter of fact - I would love to see your bow. I know we talked about it but seeing it with my own eyes is something else entirely.” Jesse’s grin grew just a little wider when Hanzo turned his head towards the window. The flush on his cheeks clearly visible in the bright sun. He had only gotten a chance to see Hanzo’s bow once when Hanzo had checked it over quickly to make sure that nothing had been broken.

Now he walked over to the case leaning against the wall next to the closet. Jesse waited with baited breath. Hanzo’s love and care for his weapon were easily visible in the way he handled it. How he set the case down so gently.

“This is my most prized possession,” Hanzo admitted and opened the clasps with soft _snicks_. Jesse stepped up next to him. He felt like a kid at Christmas even if the contents of the case were not for him. The bow looked magnificent. Strong and sleek it looked powerful. Jesse didn’t know much about bows but even he could tell that this weapon was special.

“It looks amazing,” he murmured and an idea sparked in his head. “A mighty fine weapon. Maybe we’re ought to have ourselves a friendly shooting competition sometime? Maybe even a little bet?”

Jesse’s heart skipped a beat and he shook his head at himself. He knew Hanzo for less than a month. Never mind the fact that he was the head of a Yakuza clan, he was also Genji’s brother and Jesse was sure that there were people looking for both of them right now. Yet another reason to have Peacekeeper close at hand.

“Maybe you could change your appearance,” Jesse mused. The thought of pursuers didn’t sit well with him. “Throw of your hunters if they send some after you. I don’t really think that they will find you _here_ but it’s better to be safe than sorry.” He grimaced after his words because they disrupted the comfortable quietness of their ride. Unfortunately, they were necessary.

“I know, Genji mentioned something similar in our last conversation. And contrary to what Genji always believed, I have thought about it more than once.” Hanzo reached up and pulled the golden sash from his hair. “Maybe I could get a haircut and get rid of these grey hairs.” He plucked on the grey strands that framed his face. Jesse grinned at his annoyed expression.

“Sounds like a good idea, Han. They do make you stand out a lot more and I can imagine that whoever is after you will look for those signs first. Just like your clothes. They’re traditional and a piece of your home, I get that, but they make you an easy target. Easy to remember.” Jesse paused, pushed his hat back and scratched his forehead replaying what he just said. “Huh, sorry, hope you don’t mind the nickname. Bit of a habit of mine. I can stop if it annoys you.”

Hanzo shook his head to loosen the hair. He even ran his hands through it a couple of times to ease the strain that had to have been on his head. But maybe it was also a way of diffusing the flush in his cheeks. It hadn’t gone down any in the last couple of minutes and Jesse wondered what that was about.

“It is fine. Nicknames are not something we had much use for in Hanamura. The elders thought it childish and unnecessary.” Hanzo huffed, lowered the window halfway and allowed the wind to blow his hair back. He looked more relaxed than Jesse would have thought.

Maybe the regular phone calls to Genji helped settle Hanzo more than the man would admit. Granted, not every conversation ended with a smile. There had been quite a few instances where Jesse had heard them argue. Afterwards he always waited for a couple of minutes before he ventured into the room that held a fuming Hanzo. He never went without an offering, though. Usually a mug of steaming hot tea and something sweet.

“I still imagine their judgemental stares.” Hanzo rubbed the bridge of his nose. “They want to control everything in their sight but their minds are stuck in the past. They will not accept anything less than perfection and absolute obedience and loyalty.”

“They sound like a bunch of very funny people,” Jesse drawled, lips pulled back into a sarcastic smile. “Small wonder that you wanted Genji out of their clutches. It’s also a good thing that you got out of there. I wonder, though, about that email address. How come they never found out about it? I mean, they did try to control everything in your life, after all. Can’t imagine that they didn’t find it in one way or another.”

Hanzo looked at him with a grimace.

“They did find out about them,” he admitted quietly. “They found out about both of them and ordered the addresses deleted. I think they threatened the family of the owner. The memory is a little blurry because I was full of painkillers at that time. I dared to talk back to one of the elders and had to be punished for my behaviour. It was also meant to set an example for Genji. Our mother intervened on my behalf otherwise I would not have gotten any painkillers at all.”

Jesse reached out and squeezed Hanzo’s shoulder. It earned him a tired smile which still seemed strange to him. The man sitting in the car beside him was nothing like the man he had envisioned when Genji told him about Hanzo. He could switch on the Yakuza mask at the drop of a hat but that happened rarely, if ever. So far Jesse had only been subjected to it after the failed phone calls to Genji. Maybe this was the real Hanzo. The boy who stayed up at night to play with his little brother.

“After I healed enough to continue my training I was told that I was to use only the approved email address given to me by the elders,” Hanzo continued. “Genji got one of his own as well. We were placed under constant observation for months following the discovery. Nothing we did went unnoticed but they stopped when our mother fell ill.” He paused again. “In hindsight, I think that she made herself sick. I can not say whether she did it for us or for another reason. I imagine that the elders would have liked to make her disappear. Fortunately, they could not do that without raising a lot of questions. My mother brought a lot of influence into the family. Influence that she kept firmly in her own hand.”

“Makin’ her disappear would have resulted in losing that influence.” Jesse nodded. “Clever woman, your mother. She kept herself safe that way.”

“Correct.” Hanzo ran a hand over his face. “It was also her who returned our email addresses to us. She asked her family to help out. I do not know the specifics. We never talked about it but I received a message from her two days after she returned to full health. I never told Genji about it. I still do not know just how much power she has in our family.”

Jesse squirmed to find a more comfortable position to sit in. His gaze wandered to Hanzo’s legs and further down to the prosthetic part that was cleverly hidden beneath his slacks. So far he had been rather open and quite frank about his past but that might not count for his legs.

“Yes, these,” Hanzo tapped his knee once, “were also a punishment for my failure. The elders did not take kindly to finding out that Genji escaped alive. But they could not kill me otherwise the Clan would have been left without an heir. Instead they came up with these prosthetics. Whenever I refused to do what they wanted I would be left without them and unable to walk anywhere on my own. That was when they came in with more lectures and more ravings about how the Shimada Clan was destined to rule over Japan. I still do not know how they managed to survive. They had already been old when I was a child.”

“Lunatics and probably blessed with unfortunate good health.” Jesse shook his head. Deadlock had been crazy but it seemed that Hanzo’s family was quite a different brand of nutters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, stop by on [dewdlepies](http://dewdlepies.tumblr.com/) tumblr and let them know how lovely they are! They created [this](http://dewdlepies.tumblr.com/post/172281579667/my-contribution-to-mcbigbang-for-the-mchanzo-big) gorgeous piece of artwork for my story and I am so happy that I can share it with you people!


	6. Part Six

“Don’t play with it,” Jesse reminded Hanzo for the third time in the last hour. “It will only get infected and then you’ll have to take it out completely. The girl at the shop said that you should keep it in for at least eight to ten weeks. Otherwise the hole will close again. And that would defeat the purpose now, wouldn’t it?”

Hanzo glared at him but dropped his hand back into his lap. A week had passed since they took the trip into town to get him a new appearance and a new wardrobe. And what an appearance it was. If Jesse was honest with himself he expected Hanzo to dye his hair in order to cover up the grey. Then maybe a couple of simple but elegant outfits, like button down shirts and slacks, along with maybe one or two pairs of jeans for their work outside.

Instead Hanzo decided to get an undercut in order to get rid off the grey. The clothes he bought were functional, comfortable and more similar to what Genji would have bought, albeit less colourful. The one thing that surprised Jesse the most, though, were the piercings. Hanzo didn’t stop at getting his ears pierced, three times in one ear and two times in the other. He also got a tongue piercing, one in his left eyebrow and one on the bridge of his nose. Which was also the one that he kept playing with constantly.

He looked so much more carefree. He still pulled off the aloof asshole when confronted with strangers and people who thought that he should just head back out to his rice fields. Funnily enough, Hanzo himself kept Jesse from blowing up in the guy’s face. He could take a lot of shit but he wouldn’t take any discrimination. The man had been drunk as a skunk in the middle of the day but that didn’t make things any better.

Watching Genji’s brother cut a man to pieces with mere words was a sight to behold. Hanzo didn’t swear nor did he yell. Instead he got very, very quiet and cold. The air around them seemed to actually drop in temperature. Then he very calmly informed the man what he could do with his opinion and where exactly he could shove it.

Jesse couldn’t deny that he found both versions of Hanzo extremely attractive. The cold, calculated Yakuza heir set his hair on edge and sent electric sparks scattering across his skin. His whole demeanour screamed _danger_ and _steer clear_. Genji once said that Jesse was attracted to danger and liked to flirt with death. Maybe he hadn’t been that wrong.

And then there was this version of Hanzo. The one that no longer hid his smiles behind the cold mask like he did when confronted with strangers and idiots. Sometimes he even laughed at Jesse’s stupid jokes or Betsy’s antics. Thinking of his dog, Jesse fought against laughing out loud because his little lady had Hanzo wrapped around one of her tiny paws. She was allowed to sleep in his bed when Jesse needed to close his door during the night.

Hanzo also snuck her little treats during the day when they were busy working outside. For a man who hadn’t worked with his hands before - Jesse refused to count killing people as work - he didn’t need a lot of instruction. They made short work of repairing the paddock and the fence that surrounded the areas usually reserved for cattle and other large livestock.

“I still can’t believe that you went and got all that metal done. In one go, at that.” Jesse shook his head and pulled his hat further down to keep the sun from blinding him. “Genji might not recognize you when he finally arrives.”

“Very funny, Jesse, very funny.” Hanzo grinned sharply but carefully reapplied the bandages that protected his piercings from the dust and dirt flying around. “Now that we finished the fence what is the next step in your plan?”

“Right now? Taking a break and getting out from the midday sun.” Jesse stretched and winced when his back popped, again. “The stable’s shadowed but the air is pretty stuffy in there and I’d rather not feel like I’m baking. So we’ll head back inside, get something cool to drink and figure out what we’re going to do next. Because as good as my plans can be, I like to make sure I got the numbers right.”

“Oh, really?” Hanzo looked at him. “You look like a cowboy, you live on a farm in the middle of nowhere. And you do not enjoy _high noon_? Not even for a friendly little duel?”

Jesse froze for a second. The words were nothing special but the combination was. He had heard them before. It seemed like a lifetime ago. They were reminders of the war, of the lives he took without giving them a single second to change their minds. Of the innocent lives he had destroyed because he couldn’t stop the bullets. Blood rushed in his ears and blocked out everything else. He smelled the burned gunpowder again, felt the stickiness of blood on his fingers and the heard the last breaths of those he killed. Gunshots still rung in his ears. His lungs felt tight, as if someone pressed them together. He couldn’t breathe.

“Jesse? Jesse!”

A hand on his arm squeezed tight enough to hurt. Jesse stared at the dragon’s head that covered the back of the hand. He blinked slowly. The gunshots and screams receded to the back of his mind but the stench of blood stayed as did the pain in his arm.

“Jesse.”

That voice. Jesse blinked again then squinted when the sun blinded him.

“Jesse, are you with me? We are on your farm. We just finished repairing the paddock. Everything is calm and you are safe.”

“Hanzo?” He was lightheaded and nauseous. His legs felt shaky. As if he had taken a ride in one of those rollercoasters Genji was so fond of. If he hadn’t already been sitting he would probably have fallen flat on his ass. His lips hurt and he had the taste of copper on his tongue. His left arm radiated pain up and up until it seemed to shatter in his brain. He didn’t dare look down. “What happened?”

Hanzo knelt in front of him, face unreadable but eyes worried. He had one hand on Jesse’s left biceps while his other was holding on to his right hand.

“I do not know what exactly happened, but you kept staring at me for five minutes? You did not react to anything. Not when I called your name. Not even when I touched you. Then you mumbled words before you tore your prosthetic off and bit your lips bloody. I helped you sit down when you swayed.”

Jesse looked down to where his left arm was supposed to be gleaming in the midday sun. It was gone. He stared at the stump and the angry red around the connection plates. It wasn’t bleeding but reattaching the limb would probably be as painful as the first time. Jesse looked around for his arm and found it lying two steps behind Hanzo. Betsy sat next to it and whined pitifully.

“Oh.” Jesse swallowed in a vain attempt to get rid of the blood on his tongue. “Well, sorry for makin’ you see that.” He still slurred his words a little but the noise in his head calmed down with every stroke of Hanzo’s thumb across his skin. His heart rate slowed at the same cadence.

“Do not be sorry,” Hanzo scolded gently. “How many times have you sat with me in the last weeks? How many times have you helped me come back down when my memories threatened to overwhelm me? Was it not you who told me that even warriors were allowed to be weak? That we are only human.”

“Should’ve know that you would remember that,” Jesse smiled mirthlessly. His muscles shook when the surge of adrenaline slowly drained from his veins. Once his nerves worked properly again Jesse felt the area around the connection plates pulse with every beat of his heart. “Alright then. Thank you for keepin’ me from divin’ off the deep end. What do you think about headin’ inside and gettin’ some coffee? Or tea, in your case. I need to get the taste of blood out of my mouth.”

“Are you sure that you are alright, Jesse?” Hanzo let go of his biceps in order to point at the angry red skin. “Maybe you should seek out medical attention first? At least for some pain medication.”

“Nah, it’s fine. I got some painkillers in the pill cabinet. They should work just fine. Not the first time I pulled the arm off without noticing. Probably won’t be the last time either.” Jesse noticed that his fingers were still held in Hanzo’s grip. It was firm enough to ground him but not make him feel like he was trapped. Jesse’s skin tingled pleasantly where Hanzo’s thumb trailed over it. Those tingles scattered up his arm before they raced down his spine. It felt strangely weird; pleasantness following so quickly after his world had turned sideways.

“I will take your word for it then.” Hanzo helped him get back to his feet. He didn’t take his hand away for a few moments longer, and Jesse’s heart beat tripped a little. When they let go of each other his skin felt cold even though it was the hottest time of the day.

*~*~*

_To: Genji [17:46]_

_Is there anything your brother might miss the most after leaving Japan? Or Hanamura?_

 

_From: Genji [17:47]_

_Are you asking for a specific reason?_

 

Jesse stared at Genji’s answer. Did he ask for a reason? He couldn’t deny that Hanzo was an interesting man. He was stunningly beautiful, courageous, strong and clever. He also came with just about as much baggage as Jesse himself. In short, he was just Jesse’s type.

“Well, fuck.” Jesse rubbed a hand over his face. Betsy whined questioningly from her spot beside the door. The man in question was currently out on a run along the borders of the property. He had taken to jogging either early in the morning, before Jesse woke up, or late in the evening while Jesse took care of preparing dinner.

 

_To: Genji [17:52]_

_Nah, no special reason. Just thought it would be nice if he had something that would help him remember some good times from home._

 

Genji didn’t reply immediately but Jesse wasn’t worried. The two of them could take care of themselves and who knew what kind of trouble Sombra was getting them into. She was a menace when bored as Jesse had been unfortunate enough to find out during their reconnaissance missions. Sitting still and watching was not her strong suit. Neither was it his, though.

“Might as well get started on dinner.” Jesse groaned when his back popped loudly. He had taken a short rest on the sofa after they finished going over the plans for the stables. They would leave it at the size it was now but rearrange the interior. Hanzo had given him some options to think about, mostly taken from the stables he had back in Hanamura. Once they were done there would be room for four horses. Not that he would get that many but it was good to have enough space.

Jesse nearly stumbled over Betsy on his way into the kitchen. She yawned and curled up on her pad.

“Didn’t feel like joining him tonight, huh?” He grinned down at his old lady. Sometimes, when the weather wasn’t too hot, Betsy followed Hanzo on his jog. Most of the time she managed to keep up with him. Sometimes, though, Hanzo came home carrying her. The indulgent smile on his lips usually sent Jesse’s heart into a light frenzy.

“Alright, let’s see what we can make tonight.” Jesse picked up the data pad from his table and scrolled through the recipes. Hanzo wasn’t as picky about his food as he had feared and liked a bit of heat in his food. Which was a major plus in Jesse’s books. As it was, they had only had meals that were easy and comfortable for him to make. Maybe, additionally to what Genji might give him as advice, he could do some research of his own. It shouldn’t be too hard to find something that he could make with his ingredients.

Plan made, Jesse hunted through his kitchen and piled everything on the counter. Making a mental note to go grocery shopping the next day he looked through his favourite online cookbook.

His phone interrupted his study of a recipe for homemade ramen. It looked simple enough and the person who made it even included a video of the steps. He would have to watch it and decide whether or not it was something he wanted to try.

 

_From: Genji [18:29]_

_Genmaicha._

 

Nothing else. Jesse stared at the message, then down at Betsy. She had turned around a couple of times and snored away happily.

 

_To: Genji [18:30]_

_What?_

 

_From: Genji [18:30]_

_Genmaicha-tea. It is green tea mixed with toasted rice. We rarely had it because it was a tea drunk my ‘common’ folk and not very expensive. Hanzo used to drink it every time he had the chance. Mostly by talking the cook into making it for him. Oh, and he has a wicked sweet tooth._

 

Yes, that was something Jesse had noticed already. Whenever they brought home some ice-creams, or sweets in general, they were gone within days. He seemed especially fond of Jesse’s special nightmare-hot-chocolate. It was a simple recipe with only a few spices added to the hot chocolate but Hanzo didn’t allow him to explain what those spices were. He admitted, though, that he liked it when Jesse made it for him.

 

_To: Genji [18:32]_

_Thanks. I’m also trying my hand on some homemade ramen. Found a recipe with additional video material, so it should go alright._

 

_From: Genji [18:33]_

_Are you trying to woo my brother, Jesse? He told me about the hot chocolate you make him when he wakes from his nightmares. Or the sweets you buy. I do not remember you having much of a sweet tooth yourself. Besides said hot chocolate._

 

Jesse stared at his phone. He wasn’t - But was he? Granted he only knew Hanzo for a little over a month but he could already tell that there was something between them. It wasn’t sexual tension alone. It ran deeper. Or at least it felt like that. And if he was honest with himself, what was dating other than getting to know the other person and trying to get a feeling on whether or not they would work together. Heck, if he wanted to he could count their after-nightmare-meetings as dates, too.

Because during those hours they talked about themselves. About what they liked, what they hated, what they feared. They talked about so many things that they couldn’t speak about during the day.

Then there was the touching. It wasn’t obvious but their fingers seemed to brush much more often than necessary when they exchanged tools. They helped each other up, fingers tangled for a second longer than normal. Jesse remembered how Hanzo never told him off for keeping his hand on the small of his back during their grocery runs. Neither did Hanzo change seats when Jesse sprawled on the sofa with his arms stretched out on the backrest during their movie nights.

Hanzo had never rebuked his tactile habits and in turn had slowly reached out on his own.  

“I’m in so much trouble, Bets.” Jesse hung his head while his heart skipped a couple of beats. “So much trouble.”

*~*~*

“Ah, Jesse, Dear! It is so nice to see you again. Have you come to pick up your order? I have it right here! All wrapped up, like you asked.” Jesse tipped his hat slightly and gave the old lady behind the counter a small smile. The small package looked exquisite even if it was wrapped with simple blue paper. And a golden bow.

“Indeed I have, Ma’am. That looks mighty pretty. Thank you.” Mrs Brandon scoffed and swatted at him, though her cheeks flushed a healthy red. She hadn’t changed in all the years that he had know her and he was happy about it.

“How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me ‘ma’am’, Jesse? Did you forget that I knew your grandparents quite well?” Of course he hadn’t forgotten. He used to play with her grandsons, Oliver and Peter, until their family moved into the city. Poor Mrs Brandon had been lonely afterwards. Her husband had died a year before and once the family left she had no-one in her house. So she had taken Jesse on as her own even though both sets of his grandparents had still been alive. She simply turned into his third grandmother.

“Of course not.” Jesse grinned and leaned over the counter for his usual greeting. She pressed a small kiss on his cheek and tugged on his beard when he leaned back up.

“You are getting scruffy, Jesse,” she chided lovingly. “You should at least trim it a little. Look at your young man over here! That is a well kept beard and not a thicket! Oh, he reminds me of my dear Roger.” She looked at Hanzo who had stopped a couple of steps behind him to look at some of the wares she held.

Jesse flushed slightly when he followed her gaze. The sun fell through the slightly tinted windows and bathed the room in a gentle yellow light. Hanzo looked much softer in that kind of light. His sharp features appeared softer and his eyes glowed almost amber. God, he had it bad.

Jesse turned back only to find Mrs Brandon smirking mischievously at him. He swallowed against the lump in his throat.

“I know that look, my dear.” She took the little package and turned it around a few times, as if to check for creases. “You look at him just like I looked at my Roger. Don’t let him get away.” She winked once and pushed the tea into his hands.

“I’ll try,” Jesse stammered quietly because he knew that denying it wouldn’t work on her. She had known him too long for that to work. It had been her who noticed that he had looked more at the boys than the girls when he grew old enough to show any interest. His parents had been right behind her but she had always been the first to notice.

So Jesse simply tipped his hat once more and made his way back to the door. The small, wrapped package felt heavier and heavier the closer he got to Hanzo. Maybe this was a bad idea but now he had ordered and paid for it. Even if nothing came of it he had something that would help with homesickness.

“Did you get all you wanted?” Hanzo’s gaze fell onto the small present and he frowned thoughtfully. “Is there a birthday coming up that I am unaware of? I know that Ana-san’s birthday is not until next month and Reinhardt-san’s was two months ago.”

Jesse chuckled and shook his head. It had been two weeks since he had introduced Hanzo to Ana and Reinhardt. It seemed like a good idea given that both tended to visit him a lot and hiding his guest was not only rude but unnecessary. Ana and Reinhardt were people who knew what going into hiding meant. He did talk to Hanzo beforehand, though. Springing strangers on him had seemed liked a bad idea. Thankfully, though, both had pretty much adopted Hanzo on that first afternoon they spent together. Even if it had been tense and awkward.

“Nah, this is just a little pick me up for someone, you know?” He lifted the small box. “Just a little present to see them smile because they could use it. They went through a rough time recently.”

Hanzo’s eyebrows rose but nodded silently and followed him out of the shop. Jesse hoped that he wouldn’t get too suspicious. The colours could have been a giveaway since most of Hanzo’s clothes were blue and gold. But then again, Ana liked those colours as well and Jesse thanked whoever was watching over his foolish heart for that.

“You ready to hit the road or would you like to visit another place? We still got time and Bets is probably still sleeping.” Jesse slipped the tea into one of the bags that held their groceries. After his success with the homemade ramen they had looked through various recipes together and compiled a shopping list. This run completely filled his truck’s bed. Thankfully, most of the stuff could either be put into the freezer or into the pantry. Otherwise he might have had to buy a new fridge. He didn’t deny that he was curious about how everything would taste.

Jesse looked up when he didn’t get an answer after a few long moments. Hanzo’s eyes were trained on a spot somewhere behind them and the truck. The mask was back in place and Jesse got the bad feeling that something wasn’t quite right. He also noticed that Hanzo slowly inched his way back until he was practically hidden by the truck and Jesse’s own bulk.

“Everything alright, Darlin’?” he asked, covertly turning his head in the same direction. The street looked just like it always did. People milled around, walking either with purpose or in the slow pace of an afternoon walk. “Did you see something?”

It was then that a group of men in black suits stepped out of one of the small coffee shops that lined the main street. Jesse couldn’t remember if he had ever set foot inside it. They all had black hair and sunglasses. From his position, Jesse also made out the upper parts of tattoos peeking out from beneath the white collars. If they didn’t vary in height Jesse would have thought that a group of clones walked right through their town.

“Let us get home, Jesse.” Hanzo’s voice was strained. “Now. Please.”

His tone alone was enough to get him moving. They got into the car and Jesse waited for a truck to pass by them before he pulled out of his parking spot. Unfortunately he had to drive past the group in order to reach the road that led to his farm. Beside him Hanzo nearly vibrated out of his seat with tension. His gaze was glued to the mirror on Jesse’s side and the group of men who kept looking up and down the street.

“Get down,” Jesse ordered, falling back into the habit of taking charge. “I need to drive past them, so I need you to lean forward as if you’re looking for something. And take your hairband out. If we’re lucky they won’t notice. Just make sure you stay down until I tell you to come back up.”

Hanzo didn’t reply. He simply slid down in his seat, pulled his hair loose and made himself as small as he could. Jesse waited for a few more cars to pass by him. In that time he slipped his phone out from his jeans and slid it into Hanzo’s hands. Only then did he turn his car around and hit the gas a little harder. He could live with a speeding ticket if it meant that Hanzo was safe and didn’t have to worry about being followed. Or worse, being brought back to Japan.

He didn’t spare the group a glance when he drove past them even though he really wanted to get a good look at them. Once they left the group behind, though, he glanced into his rear view mirror, hoping to catch a glimpse of their faces. He needed to know who followed Hanzo. He might have to introduce them to Peacekeeper if they dared to get too close.

“We’re past them, but I need your to stay down. I don’t know if that’s the only group or if there will be more of them wandering around.” Jesse reached out and squeezed Hanzo’s shoulder. “We got enough stuff to lay low for a while. I need you to give Ana and Rein a call as soon as we’re out of town. They can be our eyes and ears in town. Let us know whether those guys are gone or if they’re lingering. They can also keep an eye on the road out of town. It’s the only one fit for driving out to the ranch.”

“Jesse.” Hanzo reached up and squeezed his hand once before leaving his hand lying there.

Hope bubbled up in Jesse’s heart despite the adrenaline rushing through his veins. Maybe he would find the courage to ask Hanzo out on a date, if they got through this alive.

“You do not have to do that. I can simply get on another plane and leave. Just take me to the airport and I will vanish from your life. You should not put your life on the line for a man you have known for less than three months.”

“Nope, no can do.” Jesse pulled his hand from Hanzo’s shoulder only to lace their fingers together. He felt Hanzo’s fingers twitch slightly in his grip. “We’ve been dancing around each other for the last few weeks. I know it’s sudden, but hell, I’m not throwing my chance away. Not for those idiots. Also, Genji would have my head if I allowed anything to happen to you. Nevermind the fact that they have probably infiltrated the airport, train station and bus station. I got you into my life by offering my house. I won’t throw you out just because life gets a little hard. Nah, we’ll get through this.”

He didn’t want to say all this while running on adrenaline and fury but he also didn’t want Hanzo to vanish without knowing that Jesse felt _something_ . So much for his plan to ask _after_ they were safe.

“We’ll get through this, Han,” Jesse said before Hanzo could reply to the barrage of words and with more conviction than he actually felt. “We just need to know who is with us and we need a plan. Please, call Ana now. Tell her that I need them to keep their eyes open and to call us as soon as they see anything suspicious heading out of town. I know that they own several security cameras. We will get through this. _I promise._ ”

“I hope you are right, Jesse.” Hanzo stayed hidden even after they drove past the town, but kept his hand in Jesse’s the whole ride back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, stop by on [dewdlepies](http://dewdlepies.tumblr.com/) tumblr and let them know how lovely they are! They created [this](http://dewdlepies.tumblr.com/post/172281579667/my-contribution-to-mcbigbang-for-the-mchanzo-big) gorgeous piece of artwork for my story and I am so happy that I can share it with you people!


	7. Part Seven

Over the next four days Hanzo repeated his offer to leave at least twice a day. Each time Jesse shook his head and gave him the same answer.

“I didn’t offer to take you in just to throw your ass out when things get a little rough.” He sighed, after the most recent offer. Was this the tenth? Eleventh? Jesse stopped counting after the sixth. “And it’s not only because you’re Genji’s brother, though it may have started out like that. I told you already that I appreciate your company. You’re a good man who got dealt a shit hand by fate. You made mistakes, just like we all did. You could have given in to their demands. You could have turned into their puppet. But you didn’t. Instead of just following orders you saved your brother and pulled yourself out from that dark place. And Betsy just adores you.”

Jesse yawned. Sleep had been as elusive as it had been after he was discharged from the hospital. Tension and nightmares kept them both from sleeping through the night. As an answer to that and to be less visible from the outside, they had taken to sitting in Jesse’s bedroom. It wasn’t the best protected room in the house but it pointed away from the driveway and placed them closer to the barn and stables where Jesse had parked his truck.

“But not without your help.” Hanzo replied before hiding his own yawn behind his hand. He grimaced and took another sip of coffee. “I will always be thankful for it. Even if you had not intended for your offer to be taken seriously at first. Which is understandable. You did not expect me to reply again.” Hanzo looked tired, downright exhausted, but the mischief still sparkled in his eyes for a second.

Jesse flushed and pulled his hat down to hide it. He couldn’t deny it. He was painfully reminded of the small package still sitting in his bedside table. Why hadn’t he given it to him already?

“I know, I know.” He huffed with an equally tired grin. “It may have started out unintentional but it worked out in the end, didn’t it? I, for one, am really happy that you followed Genji’s message. And we will get through this. I don’t think that we will be able to scare them away and even if we did they could come back with even more people. If push comes to shove, we will have to kill them.”

Hanzo nodded solemnly. His weapon, a gorgeous, high-tech composite bow named Stormbow, had become a steady companion during the last four days. Peacekeeper hadn’t left Jesse’s side either. They were as prepared as they could be.

Ana and Rein called them at least twice a day to give them an update on the group of agents that searched the town. Even Mrs Brandon had called them after the group had visited her shop. She told him that they had a picture of Hanzo with them and they threatened to destroy her life if she lied to them. Jesse vowed that he would buy her the biggest bouquet of roses he could find once this was over because this little, old woman had stared down a group of Yakuza thugs and didn’t give them away.

“It seems that sometimes we just have to take a leap of faith.”

Jesse jerked from his thoughts and shoved his hat back to look at Hanzo. A soft smile stretched over Hanzo’s lips. It was only a little sad.

“We could both die very soon and while I am sorry that I did not get to see Genji, I am glad that I got to talk to him again, at least. I know that he is healthy and happy. He got away from the life that would have awaited him.”

What was Hanzo getting at, Jesse wondered. His words held a finality that made him shiver. It felt like he had already given up and made peace with the fact that he could very well die the next day. Which was a possibility, sure, but one that Jesse would fight tooth and nail to prevent.

“Stop talking like that, Hanzo,” Jesse said, voice rough. “You’re talkin’ as if you’re a dead man walking. You’re not. As long as there is blood in our veins we will fight those fuckers. Genji wants to see you again and Sombra is dying to find out if you are as amazing as Genji makes you out to be. Think of Betsy, too! She would be devastated if you died.”

Hanzo stared at him for long enough that Jesse felt his skin itch from its intensity. He needed to move. Going outside was out of the question for the time being and so the only thing he could do was pace along the wall away from the window. He felt like a tiger, trapped inside a cage.

“And what about you?” Hanzo stepped in front of him after his fifth? tenth? twentieth? time passing by him. Jesse stopped close enough in front of him that their bodies touched.

“What?” His thought process stopped dead in its tracks and the only thing in his mind were Hanzo’s eyes. They looked almost black in the barely-there light of the small lamp they allowed themselves. And yet, Jesse was able to make out the almost desperate curiosity in them.

“Would you be devastated if I died?”

He could have said a lot of things in that moment. He could have denied it. He could have agreed. He could have done neither and simply shrugged his shoulders, avoiding the question entirely.

Jesse did neither of those things. Instead he raised his flesh hand and placed it carefully against Hanzo’s neck, with his thumb gently brushing over his jaw and beard. When his touch wasn’t shoved away he slowly leaned forward until their foreheads touched as well. Jesse didn’t even notice how his hat slid back and almost dropped to the ground. Hanzo didn’t move away like he expected and Jesse jerked slightly when strong hands settled on his hips. They didn’t push him away. They only held him.

“I would be.” Jesse breathed into the silence between them. Then he leaned forward and kissed Hanzo.

*~*~*

Ana’s call came at 2:50 in the morning.

“McCree,” Jesse rasped into his phone, eyes immediately sliding over to Hanzo. They had settled on his bed after that first kiss and he fully expected them to devour each other in a desperate need to feel alive before they would have to fight. They hadn’t, though. Mainly because they both were aware of the dangers a distraction like that would be. Instead they dozed together, occasionally stealing a kiss.

“Three black SUVs just left town at a high speed.” Ana didn’t bother with a greeting. “They’re rentals and, from what I could find out, were rented by a group of Japanese businessmen. I cannot say whether they’re headed in your direction or not. If they are, they will probably be there in about fifteen minutes. Reinhardt and I are on our way to meet you there.”

“Thanks for the head’s up. See you soon.” The line went dead and Jesse sat up with a sigh. On one hand, he didn’t want to involve his friends in this. Military background or not. On the other hand, he was happy that he had someone he could rely on because they would need help. He had seen Hanzo fight and he knew that they could take them if push came to shove. Knowing that they had back up, though, made the whole situation feel slightly less dire.

“Ana and Rein are on their way here,” he explained when Hanzo looked at him questioningly. “Three cars, possibly filled to the brim with your hunters. Ana couldn’t say whether or not they were headed our way. But if they were, we got about thirteen minutes until they’re here.”

“We should get Betsy to safety then.” Hanzo followed his example and climbed from the bed. He put his quiver on his back and took Stormbow from its resting place next to the bed. His mask settled back into place. Gone was the warm, still surprised expression. In its place was the warrior. The man who had killed with his hands and took a gamble on life in order to break free from his chains.

“I’ll send her into the barn.” Jesse pulled Peacekeeper from its holster and checked her over quickly. “There is a small extra space that I built into the back. I trained her for situations like this. Never thought I would actually need to use the command but now I’m glad I decided on it.”

“Let’s get her settled and then prepare for the attack.” Hanzo whistled softly when they left the bedroom. Betsy, who had settled beneath their bed when she couldn’t get them to head downstairs, scrambled after them. She seemed to understand that this wasn’t like playtime because she didn’t make a sound while she followed them down and outside the house. Her tail hung low but wasn’t tugged in just yet. She didn’t take her eyes off them.

“Betsy.” Jesse looked at her and swallowed. This was why so many people in his old team had decided against a family or close friends. The fear and sense of foreboding that always came with new missions was almost paralyzing. Losing one of their own had already been enough pain for a lifetime. And yet, he also felt resolved to stay alive and protect both of them with everything he had. “Vanish.”

Betsy tilted her head questioningly. For a split-second Jesse thought that she wouldn’t obey his command and that all his training had been for naught. She looked over at Hanzo for a moment, too, before she turned around and bolted for the small dog-door Jesse had installed. It swung softly after she vanished inside.

“And she will stay there? Even if there is fighting out here?” Hanzo looked skeptical. He knew that Betsy usually followed their voices if she couldn’t see them. “Won’t she be frightened out of hiding?”

Jesse shook his head, pushed his hat further back and looked at what they had accomplished in the few weeks that Hanzo had been living with him.

“She will stay there until I call her out again or until there is something immediately threatening her. Like a fire or the building crashing down. I’d rather none of that happened tonight.” He rubbed a hand over his face. He didn’t care all that much about the house and buildings if he was honest with himself. They could be easily replaced. Betsy and Hanzo, though? They were irreplaceable. Losing them would probably break him for good. The knowledge that neither Genji nor Sombra were close enough to be hurt soothed his frazzled nerves only a little.

“Right then, let’s get settled before our _guests_ arrive. Will you be alright on the roof? It’s not exactly littered with cover.” They had decided that Hanzo would take position on the roof of the house. He wouldn’t have a lot of cover up there but Jesse hoped that the moonless night would hide him enough.

“I will be fine, Jesse.” Hanzo rolled his shoulders a couple of time. “We simply have to take them out before they can swarm the place. Three cars mean five people per car which means fifteen at maximum. We can take them. We will win.”

Jesse had dealt with bigger groups of adversaries during his time in the war. Their plan was solid enough to work. Hanzo would pick out the people from the rooftop while Jesse took care of them from the ground. He had to be careful, though, because he didn’t have his armor with him. It was unfortunate but, then again, he hadn’t actually thought that he would ever need it again. He had made his peace with living a quiet life out in the countryside.

“We need to get in position.” Hanzo pointed westward and Jesse followed his gaze. Far in the distance he could make out the rapidly approaching lights of three cars. “They will be here in a matter of minutes.”

“Right, just one more thing, Darlin’.” He clamped one hand on Hanzo’s shoulder and carefully pulled him closer. Jesse didn’t wait for the inevitable question of ‘What is it?’. He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to Hanzo’s lips. “Let’s get this done quickly, alright? I want to get this behind us so I can take you out on a proper date.”

Hanzo smiled into the kiss but didn’t reply. He stepped back from Jesse, turned and scaled the wall with so much ease that it left Jesse breathless.

“Jesse, move!”

Throwing one last smile in Hanzo’s direction, Jesse made his way to the side of the main house. The small shed that leaned against the house didn’t offer him a lot of protection but it did provide him with enough cover to launch a surprise attack.

Time passed endlessly slow and Jesse felt his fingers twitch with every heartbeat. He needed to move. Adrenaline pumped through his veins, throwing the little area that he could see into sharper focus. Peacekeeper felt like an anchor in his hand, grounding him into the moment. He was back out on a battlefield. He had a mission. He had someone to protect.

The sound of cars coming up his driveway made his blood boil hotter beneath his skin. He had to wait for Hanzo’s first arrow, though. As much as he wanted to get this done they needed to know that they weren’t shooting innocent people. It would be highly unlikely, given the time, but Jesse had seen enough mistakes in his life to know that he couldn’t act on assumptions alone.

The cars came closer, their headlights illuminating the area in front of the house. Jesse squinted and ducked a little lower to the ground. In that moment he wished for a communicator. As much as he hated them, they did provide him with a tether during missions. There had always been someone talking. Status reports or idle chatter while they waited for a target to show up. In that moment though there was nothing but his own breathing and the sound of cars approaching.

Fifteen people, give or take a few. One full chamber and there would only be nine left of them. Even less if Hanzo’s Scatter Arrow hit the right angle. That first arrow would hopefully provide enough of a distraction that they could finish off the rest of the men.

Jesse held still when the first car stopped right in front of his house. He could almost feel the air around him vibrate from the rumbling engine. The other cars halted on both sides of the first one.

Then nothing happened. Minutes passed while the cars stood in front of his home, illuminating the facade with their headlights. Jesse’s muscles ached with the need to move and he hoped that Hanzo had found a good vantage point, too. Blood pounded in his ears, drowning out everything but his heartbeat and the idle rumble of the cars.

This was the part Jesse had always hated during missions. The wait. He was a man of action and while he could be patient when he needed to be, he prefered to be active.

Finally, after what had felt like an eternity, whoever drove the cars turned off the engines. Unfortunately, they also turned off the headlights. Jesse was left with nothing but darkness. He cursed silently but refrained from moving. There was no telling what would happen next.

Suddenly, between one breath and the next, he heard the quiet thud of an arrow hitting the ground. The fraction of a second later the area in front of his house was covered in a faint blue light. It wasn’t enough to make out any distinctive feature but it was enough light to use his best shot. He just had to wait a moment longer.

Of course it wasn’t just him who saw the light. The men, too, noticed that they had been spotted and they scrambled around for cover. But it was too late. A second arrow hit the front of the first car with a loud _thunk_ . It shattered on impact and sent small, needle-like shards flying through the air. Jesse counted the bodies thudding to the floor, either dead or dying. _One, two, three -_ a short moment where nothing happened - _four, five, six._

Six men were down, the others scrambled for cover behind their cars. But it would be fruitless. He only needed six seconds after all.

Jesse took a deep breath, stepped out from behind the shed and counted.

 

_One_

Time seemed to slow down.  Every movement looked as if it happened inside a layer of thick gelatine.

 

_Two_

The noise around him disappeared. He didn’t even hear his own heartbeat anymore.

 

_Three_

A bright light, comparable only to the midnight sun, rose behind him, bathing everything in its light.

 

_Four_

Everything in front of him snapped into sharp focus. He could make out every feature on the men’s faces.

 

_Five_

Jesse looked from one man to the next and lifted Peacekeeper.

 

_Six_

_“It’s High Noon!”_ He fanned the hammer and she sang six times. Six bodies sagged to the floor, unmoving.

 

The air left Jesse’s body in a rush hard enough to leave him dizzy. Still he managed to roll back into his hiding place. Another Scatter Arrow hit the ground. He heard the shards’ impact on the cars mingle with the groans of the men who had been hit, either from the first round or this one.

He waited, heart hammering against his ribcage. Adrenaline kept rushing through his veins. It pulsed in his ears and sent a wave of euphoria through him. He couldn’t deny that he had missed this in a way. The heady rush from battle was addictive.

“Jesse!”

He heard Hanzo a second before blinding hot, white pain exploded in his back. Jesse slumped back against the wooden wall. Explosions rang in his ears once again. Blood filled his mouth. Breathing became unbearable and darkness bloomed on the edges of his vision.

Moments before it claimed him completely Jesse saw the most beautiful hallucination in his life. Two Japanese dragons, glowing a bright blue, roared past him. They swerved upwards curled around each other, higher and higher into the sky. He watched them until they vanished into the night.

Then everything went black.

*~*~*

Jesse slowly swam back into consciousness. There was something stuck to the top of his flesh hand, as well as to the area shortly above his stump. He tried to open his eyes but his eyelids felt too heavy to move. It seemed as if they were glued together.

Instinctively he tried to reach up to wipe the sleep away. The moment he tensed his muscles to move he remembered exactly what happened. Pain radiated up his spine and echoed into his arms and legs. Jesse clenched his teeth against the noise that threatened to escape his lips.

“Jesse?” Gentle fingers trailed over his forehead and down his cheeks. They were such a startling contrast to the pain that Jesse forced his eyes open. He turned his head far enough to look at who was touching him.

“Hanzo?” His voice was barely loud enough to register in his own ears. It still set off a coughing fit that seemed to rattle his bones. The pain worsened with each cough until suddenly it ebbed off into a dull ache.

“Jesse? Can you hear me? I am going to help you sit up for a moment.” Hanzo looked tired and almost gaunt in the harsh light of the hospital room. Still, his eyes shone warm and comforting. He tried to be as careful as he could be when he rearranged Jesse’s pillows before he lifted the top of the bed. Then he reached over and grabbed a cup with a drinking straw sticking out.

The water felt heavenly going down his throat even though it was lukewarm. Jesse sighed and leaned back against the pillows.

“What happened after I got shot?” Because he knew the kind of pain that pulsed beneath his skin. He had felt it more than just a few times over the past years. “I remember something bright and blue?”

Hanzo flushed slightly and tugged on his sleeve. He seemed to contemplate something and Jesse got the feeling that he knew what had happened. He had seen it happen twice before. Though those times the colour had been green.

“Got a dragon like your brother, huh?” He grinned weakly when Hanzo stared at him. “Genji saved my hide a few times with his.”

“Two.” Hanzo grinned bashfully. “Two dragons, actually.” He slid the sleeve of his shirt up. Jesse smiled gently. “I called them when you were shot. I did not have the time to take out the men one by one. You would have bled to death in that time. We were lucky that Ana-san arrived when she did. She stabilized you until the ambulance arrived.”

“How long was I out, Darlin’?” Jesse had been there before, on death’s door. Hanzo took his hand and looked to the side. He followed his gaze and swallowed. There, curled up on the uncomfortable hospital chairs, sat Sombra and Genji. They were both asleep.

“So over a week, huh. Damn.” Hanzo trailed his fingers over Jesse’s arm in a soothing motion.

“Three weeks actually,” he said quietly. “Two of those had been touch and go, from what the doctor said. They had to rush you into surgery and lost you twice on the table. I was afraid that you would not make it.”

Jesse turned his hand and caught Hanzo’s wandering fingers in his grasp. He smiled when their eyes met.

“I told Death that he needs to wait for me.” Jesse chuckled weakly. “I still have a date to plan and I can’t do that when I’m dead.”

Hanzo shook his head and leaned over for a careful kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was a fun ride! I could talk about this story long and wide but that doesn't belong down here. Still, if you find yourself curious about stuff, feel free to ask me in the comments or over on my [tumblr](http://acaranna.tumblr.com/)! 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Please, stop by on [dewdlepies](http://dewdlepies.tumblr.com/) tumblr and let them know how lovely they are! They created [this](http://dewdlepies.tumblr.com/post/172281579667/my-contribution-to-mcbigbang-for-the-mchanzo-big) gorgeous piece of artwork for my story and I am so happy that I can share it with you people!


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